In my continued efforts to prove that I am serious about my desire to be the next Pope of the Catholic Church, I have taken up the task of creating a mock-up af what I think the next Pope-mobile should look like. But let's not make it such an exclusive item. In an effort to expand the reach of the Catholic Church and grow its membership numbers, I think that the new Pope (in this case, ME.) would be wise to create a line of officially licensed Pope-brand merchandise.
The cornerstone of this new Pope merchandise line would be the 2013 Pope-mobile.
But this bad bitch is just the beginning.
Imagine Pope-style trucker hats. Pope-style bath robes. Pope on a rope (yeah, it's a recycled joke) -- perfect for becoming closer to Jesus right there in your shower. Sure, you might feel some of that trusty Catholic guilt when that Pope-on-a-rope brushes across your naughty bits but you'll get over that with the mobile confessional unit which will be roaming the streets of your town every Saturday from 1-5 PM.