Monday, April 09, 2012

5 essential tips for Facebook users

Some people think that using Facebook is as easy as sharing whatever you feel like sharing but if you want to make an impact in the world of Facebook, pay attention to these five essential tips for Facebook users.

1.) Don't share everything. You'd think that Facebook users would understand that sharing everything is stupid but have a filter, people. It should be common sense to not share everything on Facebook but the world is full of stupid adults and teenagers and people fail to realize that all of those Facebook posts amount to a sort of digital diary that, if not properly "locked down", is publicly viewable and could build an inaccurate persona for potential employers if you are, in fact, employable. I don't care that you woke up in a stranger's bed last weekend. I don't want to know that you have a mysterious rash downstairs. Keep that crap to yourselves.

2.) Stop professing your love. Hey, I get it, you love your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/boss/significant other/cousin but you are turning the stomachs of the majority of your friends. Again, stop sharing everything. I don't care that you call your significant other your "smoochie pookie" or some other obnoxious nickname that makes me want to vomit in my shoes.

3.) Enough with the sharing of stupid photos. You know the type I'm talking about. The photos that used to arrive in your email inbox below a string of fifty or so forwards eagerly sent by your 68 year-old aunt from Tempe. Yes, Facebook may have made communication much faster and more seamless but in doing so it has replaced email to a certain extent and brought with all the annoying crap that no longer arrives in my email inbox. There is, of course, the sharing and re-sharing of stupid fucking photos and jpegs with quippy phrases that the sharer thinks are so damn funny but are really annoying, factually inaccurate, annoying or out and out racist. If you want to look stupid, continue sharing those photos someone jacked from or the cheezburger network. That crap may be funny to you but it makes you look like an uneducated hillbilly to others.

4.) Stop tagging everyone in your photos. Again I get that Facebook is all about everyone being connected but if you snapped a photo of your bestie doing a kegstand don't tag your bestie in it. Your bestie may have a job where such activity may be frowned upon. How would you feel if being tagged in one of your friend's photos resulted in being called into your employer's human resources office? Just think twice, dummies.

5.) Enough with the games. Everyone loves to play games but stop posting your activity and scores. I hate unsubscribing to that garbage because I have actual important uses for Facebook but all of that time I spend unsubscribing from your damn game updates pisses away plenty of time in my day.

What do you think? Are there additional tips you'd care to share? Drop a note in the comments.

Bonus Tip.) Watch your spelling. If you don't know how to spell something consult If you're too lazy for that try using Firefox as your browser. It has a live spellcheck feature so you won't come off as a 9th grade dropout on your Facebook status updates.


Whiskeymarie said...

Agreed on all counts. I would also add: stop posting your workout every damn day. We get it- you're better than us because you ran 8 miles before sunrise. Now, knock it off.

Jules said...

Agreed. Why IS it that fb is so damned annoying and pointless but the world is somehow revolved around it?! I think it's sad, really. But sadly, I have to stay on it because of the relatives I'm only in touch with in there. Plus, with a boy approaching his pre-pubescent years, I'm stuck keeping up on all the technologies and new trends just so I will be aware of what my son will be doing. Sometimes I just want to shut it all off. All except my blog, of course.