Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Donovan McNabb to bring Campbell's Chunky to Minnesota

For whatever reason, there is plenty of talk centering around whether or not Washington Redskins quarterback and Campbell's Chunky soup spokesman Donovan McNabb will land the starting QB spot with the floundering Minnesota Vikings football team.

While it would be great for the Minnesota Vikings to land a journeyman player of Donovan McNabb's caliber, it is typical. Think about the recent history regarding the Minnesota Vikings quarterback position: Brett Favre, Warren Moon, Rich Gannon, Brad Johnson, Randall Cunningham...

These are all names who were in the final throes of their NFL careers. Sure, Brett Favre thinks he can return to the National Football League but that concussion on the cement-like turf at the University of Minnesota's TCF Bank Stadium last December was probably the final on-filed action that Mr. Penis Photo Texter will see.

Donovan McNabb might have two or three years left in him but the big problem with bringing in a veteran quarterback is that the up-and-comer (in this case Christian Ponder and to a lesser extent Joe Webb) isn't going to see much in the way of playing time. The entire purpose of the NFL season is to win games and if Donovan McNabb puts the Minnesota Vikings within reach of a win during any game he will stay in the game because he's a proven player and a proven player always wins out over an unproven prospect.

That the way of the Minnesota Vikings. They are 100% unable to groom a rookie quarterback because they are always chasing some old-timer graybush quarterback in hopes of making yet another failed Superbowl run.

To make this arrangement work, Christian Ponder needs to play approximately 75% of the time during the pre-season and play at least 15 minutes of each regular season game. Let's face it, the Minnesota Vikings are not a Superbowl caliber football team and have absolutely nothing to lose.

Oh, and everybody can shut the fuck up about the Minnesota Vikings stadium debate because someway, somehow, yet another stadium will get built. It will fuck over taxpayers somewhere and the state legislature will be dumb enough to fuck over their constituents yet again but it will happen because the drunken mouthbreathers among us think that football is the be-all, end-all and supporting millionaires and billionaires is totally acceptable.

So bring on the Campbell's Chunky soup and get ready for the Minnesota Vikings to run up a 9-7 record and miss the playoffs again this year.


Joey said...

9-7? You're that optimistic? :)

The Future Was Yesterday said...

In Detroit we call that one hell of a year:)