Monday, October 25, 2010

Why I've never watched Jurassic Park

In flipping through the labyrinth of obscure cable channels recently, I happened across "Jurassic Park". I immediately blurted out "crap" and proceeded onward. My old lady, upon hearing me blurt out "crap" turned to me and asked "Why is it crap?".

I launched in to a lengthy explanation about how I am not a Jeff Goldblum fan and that the science behind it (because I know so damn much about science) doesn't make one bit of sense and then I let it slip that I had never watched it.

That set off a bit of a storm in the living room that particular evening. "How can you hate something if you've never seen it?" "How do you know shit about dinosaurs?" "Why do you hate America because America IS Jeff Goldblum?"

Of course I sat there stunned that my dislike of a movie which I had admittedly not seen in my moderately long life but that's how I roll. I form judgments based on seeing only parts of the item I inevitably dislike. I find the overall plot of "Lost" to be more scientifically thought out than that of "Jurassic Park". I have no desire to ever learn anything about dinosaurs because Dino from "The Flinstones" is the be all end all when it comes to dinosaurs. Do I think that dinosaurs would make a tasty treat? Yes I do. Would I hunt dinosaurs if they roamed the earth today? No, but I'd certainly buy the choice dinosaur cuts of meat at my local grocer of choice. Would I watch "Jurassic Park" if it was the only form of theatrical entertainment left after some sort of audio/visual media apocalypse? No, I'd lay back and watch clouds or play with sticks but I'd never watch "Jurassic Park". And that, folks, is why I've never seen "Jurassic Park".


Dez said...

Besides... the book was a LOT better.

H said...

I saw Jurassic Park for the first time a couple months ago. I laughed a lot.