Tuesday, September 07, 2010

Four things to never talk about at work

We've all been part of that uncomfortable conversation at the office where someone is sharing waaaay too much about themselves. Maybe you've unknowingly been the one to overshare or maybe you've overheard one too many phone conversations mentioning things that, in your better judgment, would be taken care of in a more private setting.

1. Pregnancy.
Whether it's been your multi-year battle to create an offspring or the fact that you're going in next Thursday at 2 PM for your first ultrasound doesn't really matter much to my cold and uncaring soul. Hey, I've got nothing against kids as is evidenced by the fact that I have one of my own but that doesn't mean that I want to know each and every miniscule detail about your ovaries.

2. Hemorrhoids.
Let me first start off by saying that I can sympathize with the pain of hemorrhoids. I went as far as to blog about said hemorrhoids during my old lady's pregnancy. I called them sympathy hemorrhoids. I shared that story with the internet but not with my co-workers. Why? Because nobody needs to hear that damn story and that should be a reminder to anyone thinking about discussing their ass pain while at work.

3. Bankruptcy.
It's a bitch but these days someone having financial difficulties is more common than a huge sale at Kohl's. Nobody can help you and while your co-workers will sympathize with you or at least feign sympathy they'll go home and tell anyone who is listening just how financially irresponsible this particular co-worker is. So while it's always nice to have someone to share your financial shortfalls with, find a friend instead of a co-worker because offices have enough drama.

4. Divorce.
Divorce is common but it doesn't mean that it's as cool to talk about around the water cooler as the latest episode of "Who's The Boss?". Half of the people you know probably are divorced or will be divorced at some point and plenty of them are messy as hell but it isn't the kind of crap you should bring to work. Again, find a friend or a family member. Hell, find a stranger at a bar who'll listen to how much of an asshole your husband is/was. At least that discussion won't be taking place two cubicles down from you or me.

Now that we're done here, check out the photos form across Minnesota at MinnPics because now that summer's over what else is left to do?


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choochoo said...

So true. I had a boss once who totally overshared on all sorts of inappropriate things. Friends and coworkers are not the same thing.

Jules said...

Also not worthy of talk around the water cooler are such topics as: pubic hair on toilet seats, what you do with your toenail clippings, knowing what a person had for dinner by the smell of their gas, and how many times you masturbated the night before. Yet... when I worked in a setting with co-workers, I heard about all of these things. LOL

Sornie said...

The topic of how many times one had masturbated the night before sounds like a topic from my last workplace where, after I quit, the very guy who would have told that story was fired for shooting porn in the building's basement featuring underage girls.