Wednesday, February 03, 2010

I hate Bob Costas

This post has been years in the making. I've witnessed Bob Costas as a play by play guy in the booth for NBC way back when they used to broadcast Major League Baseball games. He, in my opinion, was one of the best men in the booth in modern times. I'd like to see him take Joe Buck outside Insert Corporate Name Here Stadium and kick the living shit out the talentless hack that is Joe Buck. Bob Costas is genuine and unbiased and he's a genius when it comes to baseball.

But that's where it stops.

NBC, being a one-trick pony, has always seemed hell-bent on exploiting Bob Costas' talent and natural on-air likeability factor. NBC ruined Bob Costas for all of America.

It started when NBC began using Bob Costas from time to time when they used to broadcast NBA games. Now I'm sure that Costas knows his way around the basketball court but seeing him talking and analyzing professional hoops was like Jesus Christ admitting that the marks on his wrists (or hands) weren't from being crucified but instead from a knife fight with his best buddy Jebediah back when they were freshmen in high school. It just wasn't right. Bob Costas talks baseball and dammit that's where he belongs.

Now NBC must have signed Bob Costas to some sort of lifetime contract for far too much cash because it seems that they now own the soul of one Bob Costas. They are now free to exploit him in any way possible. They can dress him up in douchey sweaters (or polo shirts depending on the season) to broadcast puff pieces passed off as personality pieces on Olympic athletes during the Olympic games every two damn years. And the viewers suck this shit up. They, for whatever reason, believe that Bob Costas - former baseball broadcasting God - has some sort of vast, encyclopaedic knowledge of the Winter Olympics and has a buddy-buddy relationship with the entire Finland bobsled team. Shit, I am fairly certain that the Finnish bobsled team doesn't even speak English which makes this whole charade even more ridiculous. And as a 30 year old living in Minnesota, why the hell do I even care about the heartwarming bullshit NBC is making Bob Costas peddle about the underdogs of the Finnish bobsled team. I know the general location of Finland but I couldn't pinpoint it out of those three northern European countries to save my life.

But I don't place the blame solely on NBC for this debacle they are broadcasting. The Olympics are pointless. These are people who found a way to be famous by doing something most of us would regard as a form of recreation. These Olympic "sports" exist only for the Olympics. Is there a league of professional bobsledders or lougers trekking across the country selling out bobsled tracks with thousands of adoring fans seeking autographs? Is there a Wilt Chamberlain of the bobsled world racking up women faster than the national debt? I doubt it. And I doubt that Bob Costas gives a gosh darm golly god damn about the Finnish bobsled team. He's cashing a paycheck. And by doing just that he's also destroying his credibility he had racked up during his time as an actual pro sports broadcaster - mainly a baseball broadcaster. That's what makes Bob Costas suck. There, I said it, Bob Costas SUCKS. Bob Costas sucks. BOB COSTAS SUCKS!

Hopefully the sellout that is Bob Costas won't be interfering with the coverage of Olympic curling because, as much as I hate all things Olympic, I love to watch curling. Even Bob Costas wouldn't touch curling - unless there's some wishy-washy story about how one of the member of the Cuban curling team overcame the loss of both arms to be a world-class curler. Then all bets are off because I will find you, Bob Costas and I will smite you and I'll choke you with those ridiculous sweaters that Dick Ebersol (ass) dresses you in.

Angry now? Cool your jets with the soothing but still awesome photos of Minnesota at MinnPics!

This post, while simple in theory, deserves some credit - it goes to a local blogger who tweeted about her very own Bob Costas blog traffic earlier today. I haven't read her post, probably should have because I'm sure it was totally awesome but it's often instances like that - simply seeing a person's name mentioned - which inspire my writing here - for better or worse.

15 comments:

Emily said...

Hey now, don't be trying to infringe on my rights at the #1 Google search result for "Bob Costas sucks." It's MINE.

PikaPikaChick said...

Also: Bob Costas + hockey = wrong.

snowelf said...

Sornie, the Jesus analogy was just plain genius. Good stuff!!

--snow

Michelle Ann said...

OMG! I have hated Bob Costas for years...he seems so arrogant.

Della Street said...

He is ruining the opening ceremonies of the olympics!!!!!!!!!!!!! Someone make him shut up!!! We can SEE what is happening!!!

dekerivers said...

It was as if Bob Costas recycled the same remarks from the 2006 Winter Olympics. Once again Bob Costas was not respectful to the Olympic spirit of sportsmanship and endless possible dreams for all the athletes who entered the stadium during the roll call of nations. Almost from the beginning Costas mentioned that some countries had no chance of winning a medal. In the case of Jamaica, Costas remarked they “will not be much of a factor.’ Those comments are just demeaning to smaller nations with the same Olympic dreams as the larger ones.

In other words Bob Costas was saying ‘thanks for showing up.’ That the other athletes from nations with less national resources, or corporate sponsorship might not somehow show the world a medal winning performance is not just shoddy sports journalism, it also reeks of an ethnocentric mindset that Costas has shown before. That it is wrong to make such statements is obvious. The Olympic ideal trumps nationalism and world politics. It is supposed to be the place where the human spirit is on display, and the individual abilities are tested. To count athletes out before the games started is a shallow way to broadcast an event. It is also a misguided way of looking at the world.

mr_mcsloan said...

Costas doth truly suck

Pondola said...

I'm seriously boycotting the olympics because that arogant shrimp is broadcasting the games

Tom said...

And what's with that hair? Bad dye job? Rug? He's become a parody of himself, just one more foul ingredient in NBC's horrible coverage this year.

Anonymous said...

trollman: bob costas is the biggest pice of SHIT that lives!

Jean said...

Oh, yes, Bob should go back to baseball ONLY. Honestly, when he comes on as a commentator on the Olympics, I MUTE the TV. The coups de gras this time was on the night of the opening ceremonies when he quoted Winston Churchill about the beauty of Uganda, and then said, "He had never heard of Idi Amin..." What an inane comment, and an insult to the country of Uganda. He needs to just shut up, soooo bad.

Anonymous said...

I hate when Bobby Costas tries to pontificate about anything other than baseball. He really thinks he's God.
Especially when he tried to gloss over his comment about Americans having or owning guns. What an arse.

Anonymous said...

he's a midget shithead

Anonymous said...

I agree with Costas' politics but I still think he is a terrible announcer. I can't stand listening to his melodramatic holier-than-thou delivery. I specifically avoid any program that he's on. I even went so far as to get a proxy to watch the 2012 Olympics on BBC. Needless to say I was overjoyed by his pink eye.

SPANMAN said...

COSTAS THE 4,000 Y O MAN. HE IS A SPORTS-PHILOSOPHER! REALLY HE IS A SOPHIST WHO USED TO KISS ZEUS' BACKSIDE AT MARATHON HOPING TO GET AN IN TO MT. OLYMPUS OR IN HIS CASE MT. PUSS.