Wednesday, December 02, 2009

We're done as a society - and Tiger Woods is to blame

How worthless are we as Americans when we obviously over-obsess over pop culture? The top news stories locally on Sunday night were the Minnesota Vikings win and the Tiger Woods car crash. I'm sure there was probably something fluffy about how retailers fared over the long shopping weekend as people pissed away a month's salary on a 94" LCD TV for themselves.

A few days later we are still overly obsessed about Tiger Woods. Wow, a sports star nailed a couple of blonde sluts on the side while his old lady was at home with their kid. He got busted. While it won't end his career or even effect any of his huge endorsement deals, it will be remembered. But it's not like he killed somebody. By doing some quick math, I have figured out that 43% of professional athletes eventually have extra-marital affairs. Some get found out, others keep hittin' that every time they visit that particular city. It's just an extrapolation of why half of all marriages end in divorce. I blame breast implants and arguments over who's going to do the dishes.

I wrote this for two reasons: I am sick and damn tired of hearing about Tiger Woods - I get it, he's a phenomenol golfer who totally fucked up and I am blown away at how stupid Americans must be that they have to Google the word "transgressions". The majority of Americans must be 6th grade dropouts or have been raised my a steady diet of Nickelodeon and video games because for "transgressions" to be the second-most searched-for-term is just sad.

As further proof, below is the top 25 Google Trends (current as 3 PM today)

1.tiger woods affair
3.jaimee grubbs pics
4.kalika moquin pictures
5.jamie grubbs pictures
6.transgressions definition
7.meredith baxter
8.nancy locke
9.tiger woods text messages
10.tiger woods official website
11.tool academy jaimee grubbs
12.standing with hope weekly tiger woods
15.mary dell abate ties
17.nancy locke meredith baxter
19.tiger woods cheated on wife
20.michelle obama ape
21.chris matthews enemy camp
22.pacquiao vs mayweather
23.tool academy season 1
24.willie martinez fired
25.david birney

And if you're in a clicking mood and are also tired of all things Tiger Woods and Meredith Baxter, check out the fabulous photos at MinnPics.


PikaPikaChick said...

And why, oh why, was the Tiger Woods story on the evening news? Not buried at the end of the 5:00 news, but as a major story on both the local and national broadcasts? Aren't we in two wars? Wasn't there something about troops going on? ARGH.

Jacki said...

I am tired of hearing about that, AND the White House party crashers. Ugh...

I want to hear news I can use!