Friday, September 18, 2009

A boy, his balls and the pursuit of an apple

Sadly I don't remember what it's like to know what runs through the mind of a three year-old. But judging from the actions of nephew yesterday, shame or fear is something he does not know of.

It started just before noon when he asked to go out to the back yard to play. His mom obliged but forgot to ask her recently potty-trained son if he had to "go pee". (Apparently kids of that age need constant reminders about their need to pee) This proved to be her first mistake.

Apparently just minutes after he had entered the back yard, he opened the flood gates and pissed his pants. Embarrassing for someone my age but, again, par for the course with a three year-old boy.

Obviously piss-soaked pants are never fun to deal with so he took them off. While he was at it he also removed his underwear. This is where the no-shame factor enters the story. Now the three year-old boy was literally half naked and apparently running around the back yard which is encompassed by a chain link fence.

That is when he got hungry.

The neighbors have an apple tree which hangs conveniently over the fence and they're cool with sharing their apples. Not happy with one that had fallen on the ground, my three year-old nephew decided that he would instead scale the fence and pick his very own apple to eat - he knows what he wants and likes.

This is when the no-fear part of the story comes in.

Once the half-naked boy reached the top of the fence, he sat straddling it and found himself to be rather stuck. Around this time, or shortly after, his mom realized that her son had been gone for a while longer than usual. She decided to investigate and entered the back yard.

She immediately saw her naked little boy stuck atop the chain link fence with his twig and berries mildly stuck in the fence. Fearing for his sexual future and general health, his mom ran toward the fence and carefully removed her naked son.

The saddest part of the story is that, despite all his trying, he never got himself a fresh apple from that tree.

Full nudity hasn't been featured on MinnPics - yet - but feel free to check if it made the cut today.


snowelf said...

omg... this is both hilarious and mortifying from a mom's point of view!! What a story...


spleeness said...

I echo snowelf -- I could picture it happening, had my hand over my mouth in horrible anticipation and then relief!

Jules said...

LMAO!!! My 3 year old would have done this too... I can picture it exactly in my head! Hahahaha!!!

Stephanie Faris said...

That's one thing I'm learning about kids...they can't seem to speak up when they need to pee. What's up with THAT?

Whiskeymarie said...

He's going to LOVE this story when he's a teenager. I hope his mom worte a detailed account of the whole thing for future humiliation.

Jacki said...

This is why you should be thankful you have a girl.