Monday, August 17, 2009

Drama, Dancing with the Stars and Twitter

The American workplace is a clusterfuck. There, I said it. Over the years it moved from casual conversations about last night's episode of Knot's Landing around the water cooler to people endlessly shopping on ebay. Then it moved on to people dicking around on their MySpace page (which is now officially the Detroit of the internet). Those same people have now all moved to Facebook where they post results to mind-numbingly stupid quizzes about what kind of fruit they are and are always buying me a drink. Sorry bub, but I can't drink my 24 inch Dell LCD monitor.

The cool kids drop tweets all day long. You can tell the ones who spend too much time tweeting because their Twitter page consists of updates about what they are eating, have eaten or plan to eat. If you're gonna tweet, make it something at least mildly interesting or so strange that I'm compelled to know more. (My latest Facebook status update stated that I "feel like a cowboy" - I'll let you figure that one out.) My Twitter account is for business but even that is kept at least moderately interesting (my grandma, if she was still around, would probably be sobbing into her Pringles can of knitting needles with Reader's Digest filing chapter 11 today).

It's all good in moderation. I can even tolerate discussions about the performances on last night's Dancing with the Stars (that's a hot topic - I can't wait to see Kelly Osbourne's pasty skin shoved into a dancing outfit). But my biggest pet peeve is drama. Especially if it interferes with your job and, in turn, fucks up mine. Keep that shit at home and I don't care if I put my foot down and, in a roundabout way, make you feel bad for dropping the ball - especially when you straight-up say "I have a lot of drama in my life right now, not that you care". Bingo. I don't care. We are at work, not your latest counseling session. Now get off the phone with me and go make me some money. Daddy needs a new entertainment center.

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Stephanie Faris said...

It's funny -- I work for government. We pay so low nobody comes to us right out of college, so it's mostly people who have retired from other places. You don't see nearly as much Facebook/MySpace play as in other offices but we are blocked from eBay. Mostly they shop, read the news, download WeatherBug and wallpapers that put spyware on their PCs...

People in the Sun said...

In my year of government work I noticed other workers seemed to have had stock in paper companies. Every page surfed was then printed, just in case.

When you find out someone is using MySpace, do you automatically think, "What's wrong with him?"

Whiskeymarie said...

This is why I make every effort to not talk to my coworkers. The less I know, the better.