Wednesday, May 06, 2009

The problem with bathrooms

They smell bad. That's the short version but I will gladly elaborate.

Bathrooms, by nature, are small and enclosed spaces - often without windows for ventilation. Their small nature only exacerbates the smell factor. Throw in a tightly-closed door and you have a recipe for ofactory disaster.

Then I had a revelation of sorts. I hiked up my britches, washed my hands and jotted down my brilliant idea. "Open air, no door, larger"

Those three thoughts say it all. Bathrooms need to be more luxurious, sprawling spaces. The larger space would give more volume for the stink molecules to dissipate and leaving off the door - maybe even a wall or two - would only serve to better air out the previously cramped bathroom. My figures indicate that the average American spends approximately 93 minutes each day tending to one sort of business or another in the confines of their home or workplace bathroom. That is virtually wasted time. You aren't actively carrying on a conversation because the door is closed or the exhaust fan is running. Imagine life in your new bathroom separated by only a sheer curtain from the person you are conversing with. A wide-open window effectively bringing the outdoors in as cute bluebirds chirp in the distance. Hey, it sure beats the nuisance of a loud bathroom ventilation fan, doesn't it?

Sure, my concept was written off as "the dumbest thing ever" by my old lady but wouldn't you trade 93 minutes each day in the cramped confines of your current bathroom for the all new bathroom of the future? I would - construction has already begun. I invite any curious parties to stroll by and check things out - I'll be the guy looking out the large picture window with his pants around his ankles enjoying the spring breeze unencumbered by a door.

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6 comments:

Hammer said...

I just want an industrial strength exhaust fan.

James said...

Sometimes flushing twice helps.

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

I think we should all "go" in a giant suction cup attached to our ass that removes all trace of odors.

Hallie

Renaissance Woman said...

I agree that all bathrooms should have a window to open...and more space would be helpful. But still not sure if it's going to help 100%.

WM said...

You ever seen that show extreme bathrooms ?
Somebody stole your idea. Many of these bathrooms are larger then my whole house .

Beth said...

a very large can of Lysol could work wonders for you and you'd get to KEEP the door!!! privacy is nice!