Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Honest questions about pirates

What the fuck is the deal with the insane resurgence of pirates? The only problem is that these guys aren't "cool" pirates. The Somali pirates are douchier versions of the cool pirates I am secretly fascinated with. Somalis pirates probably don't scream snappy catch-phrases like "arrrrr" or "avast ye mateys". Real pirates have snappy but raggedy clothes, planks for walking and swords. Hell, some even have parrots and real pirates know how to swing on ropes in a fashionable manner.

These Somali priates have fucking gasoline powered, beaten down fishing boats like we'd see in our very own Minnesota lakes. Real pirates (in my mind) have wooded ships with towering sails. Sure, it all sounds a bit like Pirates of the Caribbean but dammit, the pirates of 2009 are straight up dicks and really have no business even being referred to as pirates. Ship hijackers maybe, but definitely not pirates.

The Somali ship hijackers are the absolute bottom rung of society. I am sure there are millions of decent Somalis and I know for a fact that tens of thousands of Somalis live right here in Minnesota and work hard to make their lives here in the U.S.A. The ship hijackers off the Somali coast deserve a slow and painful death and if their country is in such poor financial shape they need to find a legitimate way to dig themselves out of the quagmire they are in. Robbing others puts these Somalis on par with the CEOs of the enormous failing banks within our borders. I like to think that the Somalis are at least a bit above those who sunk our own country's financial fortunes.

Pirates are strangely absent from MinnPics but that doesn't mean that the photos aren't excellent.

1 comment:

buffalodick said...

The media made common thieves and murderers into "pirates"...