Sunday, February 08, 2009

If you don't get it, you're stupid

Digital TV seems to be as impossible to understand for some as finding the clitoris on a woman. Understanding the much-hyped digital TV transition has the stuffed suits who supposedly run the country so worried that they shit-canned the February 17 shut-off date (just under two weeks away) because Americans are idiots.

I guess that the millions of supposedly unprepared citizens missed the barrage of commercials implorng viewers to visit the website or call the toll-free number for answers. Or they can't figure the damn process out because technology scares them. Here's a suggestion: ask for help. Ask your children, ask your neighbor, ask your priest, ask the kid down the street.

It's rather straight-forward but fearing a true revolution with protests in the streets and an overthrow of the government, the pussies in Washington tucked their tails between their legs and catered to the mindless, mouth-breathing masses and allowed them to delay their ignorance about digital TV another four months - this time until June 12.

All this does is delay the inevitable. The American public are a bunch of procrastinators. We pay our bills late or two minutes before midnight on the due date. We can't figure out that lines at stores on the weekend before Christmas will be long . We file our taxes on April 15 and choose to wait in long lines at the post office because we love delaying the inevitable.

I, for one, can't wait to see the dumbfounded look on every slack-jawed cousin-fucker in trailerparks across America when they wake up at 11 AM on June 13 and find nothing but snow on their televisions. Ah, vindication is a sweet dessert.

5 comments:

Sunshine said...

You have hit on one of my latest pointless and irrational rants.

Since when is TV a right? Is it in the Constitution in a section I missed?

The funds put forth giving out he converter boxes and the massive, LENGTHY (understatement) PR blitz making sure everyone isn't caught unawares....ugh, it just seems idiotic.

There are people out there who choose to live without TV. And then there are those who have antiquated sets. Sorry, it just seems supremely stupid, all of it. And I say this as someone who totally loves TV.

People in the Sun said...

Actually, at least in Baltimore, you drive downtown in the evening of April 15th and turn to the small street with the central post office. You then slow down a little because everywhere you look you have friendly people holding bins, waving at you. You unroll the window, toss your forms to one of the bins, smile back and wave, and drive back home. It's a fun, communal thing, much like the riots that would start when the government turns off our TVs.

Beth said...

Apparently, in Canada we have until August 2011 to "get with the program." I think I can handle that.

Jacki said...

I agree with Sunshine. A lot of time and money has been spent on this conversion, and it really doesn't need to be this difficult.

James said...

"Finding the clitoris on a woman..."

I really feel sorry for the clitoris-challenged dudes. It's not that difficult.

I mean, if you're doing it right, the clitoris will practically scream at you, "I'm right here, dude!"