Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Is anal rejuvenation far off?

Some of the procedures that have been created in the field of plastic, cosmetic or reconstructive surgery are downright weird.

The one that popped into my head is one of the more recent procedures that seems to be purely a Hollywood thing. That procedure is vaginal rejuvenation. Yep, vaginal rejuvenation (Google it yourself, folks). I can understand that things can become rather stretched during childbirth or extreme sexual activities but with the proper exercises, the vagina can be toned close to its previous condition. While I'm aware that some things simply won't return to normal and that age takes its toll, vaginal rejuvenation seems to be the most vain of procedures.

The thing that made me intrigued even more about vaginal rejuvenation is that I'm unclear about what the procedure involves. It is like detailing a car? Does the dust, salt and sand get graveled out and will you get a fresh spritz of air freshener? The new car scent is a favorite if this is remotely close to the actual procedure. The clean scent is enough to make one realize that the smell is clean but it isn't overpowering. Much like a fresh spring morning, maybe this is what a newly rejuvenated vagina needs.

Above and beyond vaginal rejuvenation, I have to wonder is the next trendy cosmetic surgery procedure is anal rejuvenation. After years of eating whatever the hell you wanted and pushing hard and whatever else you do to or with your anus, maybe anal rejuvenation isn't so bizarre after all. I imagine a hot iron to steam out any wrinkles or a hot towel treatment to revitalize the area. Maybe even some procedure dangerously close to a surgical mask-clad Asian lady digging away at your cuticles or sanding away the dead skin from your rough heels. After all, the anal area can certainly be subject to some abuse and removing that old, dead skin is necessary and probably a part of the anal rejuvenation process.

Am I far off here or dead on? What other procedures would you incorporate into the anal rejuvenation procedure?

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8 comments:

James said...

"with the proper exercises, the vagina can be toned close to its previous condition."

What are these exercises and can I do them too?

Sornie said...

You can certainly do them yourself James but the results may be different unless there's something you care to share with the class...

Jacki said...

I think it is a totally ridiculous procedure.

ghost of keywork said...

Most female porn stars are known to go in for anal bleaching. True story.

Jules said...

LMAO!!

Okay, I agree, vaginal rejuvenation is VERY idiotic. For a bit, I thought you had something going with the anal rejuv thing... but then I remembered that having a tight vag is a good thing... the tighter the better, while having too tight an anus isn't good at all...

Sornie said...

What about tight-asses? If that was a literal phrase, the number of people who have had some sort of anal rejuvenation would be huge. As far as anal bleaching, a little birdie told me that in a response to a letter in Playboy, their advice is to NOT bleach your anus. Maybe that says something about what porn stars do and do not read.

Mark said...

Dude, I was just looking into the topic of vaginal rejuvenation and did a blog post on it.

Dead on.

I think you're right to guess that anal rejuvenation is not far off, as it is apparently a popular procedure with porn stars (as is anal bleaching). And with how many people are trying to be like porn stars these days...your logic is infallible, lol.

Hope we can be online buddies via blogging as I'm new to the scene!

Anonymous said...

I would have my ass redone in a second if it were available...too much ff