Friday, January 09, 2009

Things you can't walk off

Walk it off. We've all heard this overly cliched phrase before and it usually relates to someone pissing and/or moaning about an injury that is minimal at best with "walk it off" being the ultimate solution to this person's bellyaching. However, there are some things you just can't get over by walking.

What are these things, though?

A severed leg.
That has to be the one non-life-ending injury that some cold, heartless bastard would mock and ridicule you for, yelling at you to "walk it off, bitch!" The nature of the injury, though, defies one to walk it off.

A steel-toed boot to the testicles.
As always, a swift kick to the nuts usually renders the kicked useless. Doubled over in pain, feeling like the testicles have been relocated to one's stomach, walking isn't usually an option.

A papercut to the tongue.
I found this out the other night as I paid the mortgage. First off, envelope glue tastes terrible. Secondly, I'd rather have a festering splinter in my finger than a papercut on my tongue. It really makes enjoying anything remotely tasty pure agony.

The long-suffering, middle child of mine needs your attention. MinnPics wants you to visit it and look at its gallery of hand-picked photos from across Minnesota as captured by Minnesota's best Flickrites.

4 comments:

spleeness said...

What, no hot & sour soup or chicken curry? bummer.

I know the mouth is supposed to heal quickly but not sure if that's just the cheeks or includes the tongue too. I'm sure it feels like forever, whatever the case.

i am playing outside said...

the term 'doubled over' has always intrigued me. it mainly makes sense, but its also a bit ridiculous. ya know? lol

Jacki said...

And here I thought I was the only one that got papercuts on her tongue from licking envelopes! Those hurt!

MJ said...

A papercut on your tongue? That makes me hurt just thinking about it...