Monday, December 22, 2008

What to do about bad Christmas gifts

It's a fact that comes with Christmas. Every year you'll get some God-awful gift that makes you cringe. You could chalk it up to the gift-giver not doing any reasearch what so ever about the intended gift recipient or you could chalk it up to the gift giver simply not caring whether or not their gift is appreciated. The one thing that the gift giver should remember is that it is their hard-earned money (more often than not) that they are pissing away by giving a terrible gift. Something unnecessary or kitschy is rarely appreciated. If you plan on going that route, save everyone a lot of anguish and just wrap up some crap you have in the back of your closet. At least that way you aren't wasting your own dollars on something that nobody wants.

Now let's say that you've gotten something truly ghastly on Christmas morning. What the hell do you do with that abomination? Should you immediately set it on fire and throw it back in the gift giver's face? Should you bottle your anger up inside and wait until after Christmas dinner to take the gift outside, urinate on it and bury it in the snow bank on the boulevard, hoping that when the snow melts that it takes this shitty gift down the storm sewer, never to be seen again?

No way. This is Minnesota and in the spirit of the bullshit that is Minnesota nice (a.k.a. avoiding conflict and confrontation and the truth at all costs) you're going to thank the gift giver for their crappy gift. You'll smile from ear to ear, thank them for it and kindly pose for a photo with it. That's the Minnesota way. And after Christmas, you'll take this shit-storm of a gift to the nearest thrift store, Goodwill or Salvation Army and give it a home. A home where it should have been all along because as nice as it is to receive something, it's even better to give something. Except a cold, so cover your damn cough.

Feel free, too, to visit MinnPics because great photography is bettter than any gift (except for cash). Check it out for something great and new every day!


Erin said...

My brother and I agreed our gift to each other this year would be mutual absolution of the duty to give the other a present.

"It's kind of a chore to receive a crappy gift, too," he said. "You gotta react and be all excited about it and everything."

Beth said...

I cringe, smile and say "thank you."
It's the Canadian way, too.
(And then Goodwill benefits.)

Jacki said...

I don't have to worry about that, because the only people that give me presents are Peter, my sister and parents. They always know what to give me.

spleeness said...

ha!! This reminds me of the hippo clock my hubby got the first year he met my family. I couldn't think of a single thing less suitable for him, a penny would have been more useful.

Last year we got a book we asked for only as a joke. You should do a followup post: have your visitors submit their most horrid finds...