Thursday, November 13, 2008

Is Dick Enrico a mobster?

Dear Dick Enrico,

Your commercials annoy me. You sell exercise equipment yet you appear to be at the same fitness level of some sort of alien with no muscle tone. The message I receive from your poorly produced commercials leads me to believe that the exercise equipment you sell, either new or used, will actually make me fatter. Maybe the machines pushed in your stores contain some sort of calorie vaporizer that actually makes you inhale freshly created calories while you breathe heavily as you pound out the minutes on your elliptical trainer.

Over and over your customers agonize, questioning why they are still portly and becoming more and more egg-shaped.

I am not alone in wondering why you, Dick Enrico, a fellow Minnesotan, look a bit like a mobster pushing treadmills and exercise bikes. Answer me this sir, are you dieting? Do you plan on portraying a healthy appearance as the face of your company selling exercise equipment? Is that thick, rich, black pile of hair yours? Do you use Just For Men to color it? If the hair is natural, I apologize but I await your answer.

Thanks for your time Bro,

Sornie

MinnPics. The name says it all. It's a collection of photos from across Minnesota. It's good to quite good. Check it out.

11 comments:

Balou said...

LOL! And WTF is up with those billboards with the mustache-laden baby? I think "annoying your way to recognition" must be a requirement in marketing degrees. Apply directly to the head. Head on. Apply directly to the Head. Head on....argh!! :)

justacoolcat said...

He likes the Old Country Buffet. Just when he thought they were out, they pulled him back in.

buffalodick said...

I don't know him at all. When is the baby due?

spleeness said...

I love your rants. I just nominated you for an award in a thinly-disguised attempt to get you to talk more about your redneck neighbor - how about a letter to him? ;)

Whiskeymarie said...

I've seen him in public, and if you can believe it- he looks even worse than he does on TV.

I think he needs an intervention.

Anonymous said...

Ha. I work for his advertising agency. We love making him look ridiculous.

Sornie said...

Oooh. Anonymous has a mean streak. I like mean streaks. Now All I have to do is cream up the water I spit out as I read that comment!

Anonymous said...

Didn't this guy do something equally as annoying in the 80's? If anyone recalls I would love to hear.

Anonymous said...

To Anonymous,

No, you don't work at his "Ad Agency", because we don't use one. My name is Alex and I'm the Creative Director for 2nd Wind. The baby with the Moustache is my youngest daughter. Dick may not be the most svelte person on the planet, but he needs to be that large to carry around such a big heart. As for the commercials, they served us pretty well,

Anonymous said...

Whoever is responsible for his latest commercial deserves a lot of credit. Going from "annoying" to "entertaining" is a nice leap.

Anonymous said...

Let's assume you are the "Creative Director". You may want look at getting a grammar nazi on board to correct that abortion of a slogan Dick says on each commercial.