Monday, April 28, 2008

Worrying about weird things

If you didn't know it by now, this here guy is gonna be a dad -- something that spells certain doom and can only mean that the end-times are near.

Of course it also means plenty of work and odd worries.

Not so much worries but bizarre and non-plausible concerns from my weird mind.

What if the baby is born as only a torso? Yeah, even typing this out is sure to offend some but even more importantly it would surely squash any hopes for having a basketball star in the family.

How would we handle things if the baby is born as a hermaphrodite? To the best of my knowledge there aren't any int he family but I've heard that 3% of Americans are born as such. A plausible concern indeed.

What if the baby is born at some insanely high weight? I mean the type of weight that makes newspaper headlines. I'm thinking low teens here. Not so much of a concern for me but think of the wife.

I know that this list isn't very long but I'm sure that there are plenty that couyld whip me into some sort of worry frenzy so have at it.


No said...

Don't worry yet...wait until the baby comes out...that is when the worries really begin! Don't mean to worry ya even more, but that worrying part won't get any better! It's the parenting thing...

Beth said...

Yes, your worry list is weird. Focus on the real concerns - lack of sleep, colic, ability to handle dirty diapers.
Better yet - simply anticipate the coming event with joy!

Anette said...

I promise you, any way it turns out, you will love it like you've never loved a person before!
And it's perfectly normal to worry too, it's part of the process to make you all soft and vulnerable and ready to welcome this little new person any way he or she is!

justacoolcat said...

Tell me about it, my first is due at the end of July and it's been hard not to worry about crazy things.

The ultrasound helped ease some of the fears.

Ginormous Boobs said...

Worry about real who is going to win American Idol.

It'll take your mind right off this dad stuff.

Jules said...

Sornie, hon... that's why your wife will go have an ultrasound... to make sure all the parts are in the right places and warn you if they aren't so you have enough time to get used to the idea of a hermaphrodite before it's born... possibly design your own underwear line to help out with future issues s/he might have... you know!

Congrats, by the way... I know I've been absent a loooong time!

Sornie said...

Hmm, hermaphrodite underwear - it's my idea to run with now Jules!