Monday, April 14, 2008

Hearty and gluttony are not-so-distant cousins

It was after I had finished about half of my wife's supper that I wondered just how it is that I haven't ballooned to the size of a Minnesota Vikings linebacker.

All weekend I had been hungry. Nothing seemed to quell my appetite. The stack of natural casing weiners and baked beans for Saturday's lunch saw me driving to the store under the guise of sale-priced watermelon and leaving with a six-pack of IBC root beer and a package of creme-filled donuts.

A portion of those goodies was saved to eat, along with some popcorn slathered in near-butter, while we watched "Traffic" whose interwoven plotlines left me remembering "Babel". That was after the less-than-fulfilling supper consisting of chicken, vegetables and pasta complete with brown-n-serve rolls on the side. Around 11 PM, as I sat wondering how it all came to this, I began to feel slightly full in the gut.

Of course, the whole cycle began again sunday around 11 AM. I contemplated what to cook for lunch. I suggested a large stack of french toast. That idea was swiftly shot down and I moved on to the always-changing "Plan B".

It was a wholesome meal, or so I thought, of steak and baby red russett potatoes topped off with the remaining creme-filled roll from Saturday. After shooting some waterfowl photos later in the day I found myself hungry again. Things looked bleak as it was only 5 PM.

When the time did come for supper suggestions, I asked for something "hearty".

In due time, my wishes came true. My plate was heavy with baked fried chicken breast, candied sweet potatoes and a plate of chocolate dipped strawberries. I ate at a steady but moderate pace, alternating bites of chicken and sweet potatoes. I looked over the table and noticed the wife's plate devoid of chicken but still littered with sweet potatoes. Quoting the fourteenth commandment damning those who wasted candied sweet potatoes, I saved my wife's soul by cleaning those tasty and healthy treats off her plate.

After a 12 oz. slab of chicken breast, 2/3 of a 28 oz. can of sweet potatoes and nearly a half-pound of strawberries I achieved that feeling of fullness. Finally.

8 comments:

The Future Was Yesterday said...

"sale-priced watermelon and leaving with a six-pack of IBC root beer and a package of creme-filled donuts."
Those of us watching our waists expand do not appreciate that lucid description!:P

What you suffer from is a serious disease called "I'mgonnapigoutitis." I get that way every so often. I clean the refrigerator out, then the cupboards....then watch my waist do things a human waist can't possibly do!...(:

Ginormous Boobs said...

I should never have read this right before bed...I am now off to raid the fridge.

I curse you and your delicious descriptions.

No said...

I gain about 10 pounds every week-end...

Sornie said...

The way to get around the 10 pounds gained each weekend is to eat nothing but lettuce and rice cakes for the next five days and repeat.

VE said...

I gained three pounds just reading this...

Michelle Ann said...

Sornie...are you expecting?? Actually, you must have ate my portions this weekend. I was eating light in an effort to detox. Once I am clean, gotta get dirty all over again!

cathouse teri said...

You do have a way of making gluttony sound like a pleasant way of life.

Sornie said...

Gluttony is good, but only in moderation...