Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Dr. Pepper has no faith in Guns N Roses, neither do I

I'm all for crazy marketing schemes to get your name in the news but Dr. Pepper could regret their ploy to offer up a free can of the soda to every U.S. citizen (Slash & Buckethead excluded) if the mythical Guns N Roses album "Chinese Democracy" sees the light of day in 2008.

Oh, hell, who am I kidding! "Chinese Democracy" has about as much of a chance of being released as our troops pulling out of Iraq during this decade. "Chinese Democracy" is about as possible as the Minnesota Vikings winning a Superbowl in my lifetime. I'll be president of the U.S.A. (even with my large closet full of skeletons) before GNR releases "Chinese Democracy".

I'll even one-up Dr. Pepper. If Guns N Roses does in fact release the entire "Chinese Democracy" album in a phyiscal CD format I'll get my nipples pierced. Hell, I'll go one step further and get a tattoo on my bicep of my readers' choosing if GNR releases "Chinese Democracy" during the 2008 calendar year. Well, with one catch, pitch in a few bucks each with your vote for the tattoo election to cover the costs but a few bucks for a tattoo which I have no say in could be fun. I'm confident that I'll ring in 2009 with my unadulterated biceps in tact and my nipples free of jewerly because Guns N Roses has become the joke of the music industry.

Hey, just for the hell of it, what tattoo would you guys stick me with? Would you recommend hoops or studs for my nipples? Not that I'm worried.

6 comments:

Balou said...

Why it would have to be a Hello Kitty tattoo. Wait! Hey! Is that Herman the German in your header? Maybe a tat of Herman the German instead. You know, just in case you land in prison someday. Herman the German would probably go over better than Hello Kitty.

VE said...

I would make you put I (heart) Teletubbies...

dmarks said...

I hadn't thought of GNR in a while. Somewhere I read that Axl Rose (during his day) was America's final rock star. After that, it was all hip-hop and hip-hop wannabe's.

Michelle Ann said...

If memory serves me correct, Axl has been working on that album for nearly a decade...or possibly more. Besides, other than Axl...who's left? I adore the old GN&R lineup and was lucky enough to see the Metallica, GN&R tour, but things just aren't the same and you can't fix ugly.

Sornie said...

Axl's been working on it for 13 years I think the story said and had sunk almost $30 million on it. At least I have something to show for my spending. Damn. As for the last American rock star, I have to think there are some who fit that mold. Maybe Scott Weiland or an entire band like The Foo Fighters.

Whiskeymarie said...

I like hoops.

I think I'd like to see a tattoo of Slash in a thong.