Wednesday, February 06, 2008

27 things about turning 29

I turn 29 years old in a rather short while (a few weeks). In the world of mathematics, though, 29 might as well be 30 and thirty might as well be 40. You know the rest.

Twenty-nine years is a long time. It is nearly two years since my ten year high school reunion marking that fateful rainy evening they tried to hold the Austin High School graduation reception at the football stadium, but I digress. Oh, wait, our class of '97 didn't have a reunion because we just don't care. I keep in touch with the few friends I have from high school and the remaining 325 are in rehab (or should be) or working in actual dead-end jobs. I guess that's what happens when you think you can rest on your laurels and "fame" from being popular in high school.

It may very well be one of those years where a lot of reflection takes place. Or not. It's my call to make and while I will admit that I do not yet know EVERYTHING, I am gaining ground every day on that battle and have learned at least one earth-shattering lesson for every year I have spent wandering this planet.

What are those lessons, you ask. I will dispense this knowledge... now.

1. Despite the insane amounts of sunscreen slathered on, you will still get a pretty pink sunburn in Aruba if you hail from Minnesota. Helpful info too as we leave for Hawaii in about two weeks.

2. Sunscreen, no matter what it states, does NOT stay on your body in water.

3. Killing a fly may break a window.

4. A mountain bike on skatepark ramps is not a great idea.

5. In some careers, advancing means changing employers.

6. Family farmers work entirely too hard for far too little compensation.

7. Computers, despite their popularity, have not simplified our lives.

8. Your new video game system will soon be outdated.

9. It's better to be both book smart AND street smart rather than just choosing one.

10. You will always feel nostalgic when life gets you down.

11. Never plant your face close to a gas grill to see why it hasn't lit.

12. A Dodge Omni once made a fantastic disc golf cart for a group of disc golfers.

13. $80 is a fair price for a Chevy Celebrity which leads to countless days and nights of fun.

14. An M-40 firecracker will obliterate a full Mountain Dew can.

15. I am not a great welder.

16. Critical acclaim leads nowhere.

17. Awards do little more than clutter walls.

18. A pat on the back has never once paid a bill.

19. No matter how much I belittle my hometown of Austin, Minnesota, it's still 'back home' to me.

20. Santa Claus is fake. He's four feet tall and cowers in my basement for eleven months a year. Oh yea, he's also made of plastic and has a forty-watt light bulb inside him.

21. Wealth only leads to excess.

22. Two seconds in a microwave will make a CD spark.

23. True friends will bandage you bleeding body and still take you to the party.

24. Ice cream cones will still melt when held in front of the A/C vents in your car.

25. Politicians will always disappoint. Prove me wrong folks...

26. The worst things you experience completely blindside you and there was no way to avoid it. If you could have, it wasn't the worst thing.

27. I will do something that people will remember.


You wouldn't know from reading this but for some reason I wrote the basics of this exactly two years ago and with a few edits it still works for me today. Now it's off to fix the Sony Handycam.


Hammer said...


I wish I had figured all that out when I was 29.

buffalodickdy said...

By 29 I was married, 2 kids, moving into a bigger house, with a bright career. At 55, still married, still in the same house, and selling steel has never been more depressing.... Enjoy the moment!

Beth said...

29 years is not a long time.
Trust me.
At what age did you put a CD in the microwave?!

Sornie said...

The CD in the microwave was at a buddy's house and I was probably 21. And we laughed.

Whiskeymarie said...

29 and 30 were great years for me. Sure, I had a bit of a "breakdown" turning 30, but other than that it was great.
And I totally agree with #9, but I'm an all-or-nothing kind of girl.

justacoolcat said...

I'll always remember you fixed that handycam.

Words of wisdom.

Also, did I know you were from Austin? I am friends with a huge group of ya'll that moved to the Cities.

"I keep in touch with the few friends I have from high school and the remaining 325 are in rehab (or should be)"

No joke.

Brendan said...

Nice list. I do completely disagree with #7, however. I grant computers have added some complications to our lives, and I'll even accept that certain specific activities have become more complicated because of computers.

On the other hand:

o Email has made staying in touch and getting back in touch with family and friends easier and cheaper.

o Online shopping rocks. I bought my last car by looking on line, narrowed my choices to three models, did a test drive of each (in meat space), went back online, filled out a form and got a price below what I expect to pay by email. Within hours. Zero haggling. Ditto several other major purchases.

o I also got a really good rate for the car loan online

o I also dealt with registration, license renewals, insurance transfers, changes of address, etc., all on line -- no visits to the DMV!

o Online MLS services for house-hunters and -sellers.

o Tech support via online chat or email is way more efficient than waiting on hold.

o Business transactions and negotiations by email are way better. You get the instantaneous aspect of a phone call plus the written record of a letter.

o Computers make it much easier to time-shift my favorite radio programs and some TV, with more to come.

o Free newspapers, faster news updates, availability of different sources, all in one place

o Photography: no more paying to develop film. No more paying to print pictures just to share them. No more shoeboxes filled with decaying snapshots.

o Art: mixing sound, video, and still works are all way easier and way cheaper.

o Long-tail availability of obscure and obsolescent parts, music, books, government forms, manuals, reference materials galore, etc.

o Community-support and customer feedback forums make consumer research a snap

o Much easier to build grassroots movements for social and political causes

o One word: Google

o One more word: porn (For other people, I mean. I have no personal experience in this matter.)

Sornie said...

JACC, I don't know if you knew I was from SPAMTOWN. What grad year are the folks you know?

Mary said...

Can't wait to hear what you learn in the next 29 years.

justacoolcat said...

They're older than I. Probably Class od 89 or 90, but I don't know for use. I do know how it is with A-Town, and everyone knows everyone.

Jules said...

I wanna try the CD in teh microwave thing and see it in action, but I don't have a fire extinguisher. Why is this a problem? Because I'd probably soon get distracted by something else going on and forget it in there.... the rest would be history. It's probably safer for me to not have read your list!

Sornie said...

Jules, no more than 2-3 seconds. Just use the timer so you don't destroy your microwave!

Anonymous said...

I want to meet another 29 year old that has an outlook like yours. My Boyfriend is turning 29 on Thursday but I'm afraid he's still just a teenager at heart...