Thursday, November 01, 2007

Halloween etiquette

Halloween. It's a holiday whose origins are dark and devilish and it has managed to evolve into a holiday entirely for kids and kids at heart.

It's candy and costumes. It's pumpkins and corn mazes. It's sullen teenagers who are too financially strapped to buy either candy or a costume so they drag their mopey asses around neighborhoods and beg for candy without costumes or common courtesy and politeness.

It was just after dark last night when the kid two doors down from us came a-ringin' our bell with three of his slacker friends, all sans costumes of course, to beg for candy. The doorbell rang and my wife opened the door to find these Future Losers of America standing blankly at our front door. They said nothing and simply held out their bags. The missus threw out one tiny candy bar to each of them and followed them halfway down the sidewalk, cautious that these FLA's didn't kick over one of our eleven jack-o-lanterns.

Once down the sidewalk, one loudly announced that he had to piss and did so in the middle of the street. At least he was off of our property and, honestly, what guy hasn't relieved himself in the street but those times are usually at 3 AM after a 750 of Jack Daniels, not at 6:40 PM when the neighborhood is strewn with kids dressed up as Wizard of Oz characters, Power Rangers, slutty bees, slutty Catholic school girls and slutty genies (all of which graced our doorstep).

Etiquette, though, was missing from a few. The youngest always said "trick or treat" and followed it with a youngish "thank you". These kids obvious come from parents who know what respect is. Hell, even the 14 year-old troop of slutty costumers had the same level of politeness, something messing from the pisser party who came earlier.

Is there a lesson here? Sure. Be polite. I think that I gave a candy bar to a twenty-something last night because this person was polite and had a kick-ass costume. See, politeness goes a long way and don't ever piss near my property again.

4 comments:

Adam said...

FINE!! fine...i'll stop pissing near your property.

H said...

I was really impressed with how polite my trick-or-treaters were. Every single one -- even the ones who weren't dressed up and were carrying BACKPACKS to collect their candy -- said "Trick or treat." Most said thank you. It was quite the opposite of what I was expecting.

Hammer said...

99% of mine were nice there were two sullen lil asswipes that acted like you describe. I let my father in law handle them.

Countess B said...

I REFUSE to give any candy to anyone without a costume. Yeah, I get called names, but darn it, you must do something to earn the candy. And as I took my kids around they both said trick or treat, and also thank you. I guess I was brought up right.