Wednesday, October 24, 2007

This just in: Brits are drunks

Just how much whiskey does the average British adult consume in a year's time?

37 bottles.

I thought that I had a fondness for whiskey and that a few of my friends can toss back the whiskey as well but to be British and live up to that statistic must actually hurt.

Sure, not every adult in merry old England enjoys the sour mash to that extent but imagine those who make up for the Brits who don't. Damn.

If you thought that the dental condition of Brits was bad, just imagine their livers. To illustrate just how much whiskey that breaks down to, imagine tossing back three pints of beer each day fo an entire year. Not just any beer though, and definitely not that namby pamby crap that passes as beer for you and me. We're talking the beer that has honest to God hops in it. The beer that may need to be chewed.

Now go drink three pints of the strongest lager you can find, and do it on a daily basis, and you'll be on par with those supposed pansy-ass Brits.

Or if wine is your thing, get drinking because simple math equates that to 189 bottles of vine-grown spirits annually.

Suddenly I feel inferior. The British are better at something than us.

13 comments:

H said...

I'd better start drinking. I'm about 36 bottles short for the year.

Countess B said...

Hmmm, I wonder what their assault (bar fight) stats are compared to ours.

Hammer said...

Holy crap!

I've downed about 6 bottles of gin and one of whisky but always with help.

37? Thats amazing.

Beth said...

37 bottles of whiskey?!! Holy Crap!! That's alot of drunk Brits...

Dorky Dad said...

37 bottles? BAH! The Wife drinks that in a week.

Actually, she doesn't. I just thought that would be funnier.

The Future Was Yesterday said...

37 (I assume you meant) fifths of whiskey a year is only one every 9.8 days.

A "good" [sic] alcoholic in the prime of his drinking days can do two a week, and still need a few beers.

Sornie said...

I think that if I drank that heavily that my wife would leave me, my dog would leave and I'd end up being a cliche of a bad country song.

Meg in Nelson said...

We've recently been surprised out of our wits by a news items that we Kiwis drink more beer than Aussies. The way some young ones go at it, I'm not. And by the way, NO time is the wrong time for cake!

Leah said...

So how much vodka do the Danish drink?...

Sornie said...

Leah, you know first hand just how much vodka Danes can drink and some like it just a bit too much.

landsker said...
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landsker said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
landsker said...

Living here in Britain, (Wales), it has to be said, that imho, this statistic may not be accurate.
Around 25% of brits are teetotal,(incl. self), and of the others, such high alcohol consumption might be the wishful thinking of the brewers and distillers.
Of course, dentally speaking, the report is right, we are the most challenged nation on earth, but that may be the result of all that fried food, fruit cake and tea.
;)