Thursday, September 06, 2007

Random gripes

Sometimes, the stupidity of the world gets my blood all riled up, but just short of boiling. That means that it's time for me to vent about the random bullshit in the world today that has my head spinning, wondering just what the hell people are thinking.

7-Up soda
Yes, I know that it's been about two years since your revolutionary "All Natural" revision to your sludgy but clear soda but there's one glaring item in the list of ingredients that has me wondering? Where in the hell do you get off calling High Fructose Corn Syrup a natural product? Sure, it's a derivitive of corn but it is just shy of a poison that ties up your liver by spending tons of energy to process the gloppy substance that, for one reason or another, took over natural sugar's stranglehold on the marketplace. I, for one, trust sugar. Sure, it can cause the occasional cavity but it's NATURAL.

Dammit, don't you own enough of the world's marketplace of poorly made products already? Why do you feel the need to shave another 3 cents off the cost of everything and use poison as paint? Yea, lead has a place but that is in another deadly product -- bullets! Listen up China, we made do a few decades back without your shit cluttering up every retailer across this once prosperous country and I am sure we can vanquish you to being nothings again.

Emo Kids
Get over it. You have nothing to mope about. Most of you are just fucked up suburban kids who have too much time on your hands. Sure, it might not be 'cool' to ride your bike somewhere but it will pull you outside. Yep, people still are active in the great outdoors because there is more to life than shitty music that, to you, has 'meaning' in the ultra-deep lyrics. If you want to be all depressed about something, study up on an area called Darfur and go buy the John Lennon tribute double disc where some real artists covered some fantastic tunes.

Dear GOD, what the fuck happened here? Has even the idea of music scared you? I have plenty of beef with MTV but, damn, I saw five minutes of I Love the 70s and I know it's supposed to be ultra hip because it lacks production values but I could create that bile using my mediocre Flash skills and a cell phone camera.

Larry Craig
You fucking CONFESSED to soliciting male sex in a rather public space. A space that children use. A space that the general traveling public at the Minneapolis/St. Paul Int'l Airport uses. You also confessed to never being gay after you solicited that very same male sex from an undercover officer. Sure, in hindsight it might look like a sex sting but you knew exactly what to gesture and tap. I know that I would have been more than a little weirded out to have some random dude flirting with me while I tend to my business in my stall. And let's say that you, Mr. Craig, had solicited sex from a random gay guy. That, to me, seems a bit beyond risky. Shouldn't a person in a somewhat high elected office be setting an example instead of trolling the men's room for some nookie outside of your marriage.

The same goes for Senator David Vitter who admitted to sliciting the services of a prostitute. You two, and likely others too, are a bunch of damn hypocrites. Preach family values and the sanctity of marriage all you want but until you can practice what you preach, the American public should have ZERO respect for you.

There, I feel better. Did I miss anyone? Do any of you have any gripes of your own?


Honey Bunny said...

i think i loathe trust fund babies more than emo kids.

but then again, emo kids usually ARE trust funders, anyway.


Diesel said...

Don't you wish we could deport the emo kids and keep the Mexicans? At least the Mexicans are hard workers. And a lot of them speak passable English.

Trish said...

I agree re: the high fructose corn syrup. I like soda, but I wish they went back to using sugar. The High fructose corn syrup is in everything.

When I first heard the expression emo I was like WTF! Good lyrics have always been appreciated. We didn't need a dress code and a dumb-ass nickname just to enjoy good music.

Ditto regarding VH1. No music, all the time.

Dorky Dad said...

I hate VH1 and I had MTV. I will never, ever, ever watch either channel so long as I live, even if they start broadcasting videos again. Stupid channels.

`NEFTY said...

Lol, nice post.
I agree with you on the VH1.

Jay said...

I think just waking up in this world gives birth to many gripes. The challenge is getting through the day without letting them eat you alive.

Jules said...

I totally get you on the whole Sugar thing. I feel that way about butter vs. margarine too.

Also, I'm scared to even buy any toys for my child now! Frig. What I want to know is if this is popular practice in China to use lead paint on whatever, how come there isn't a vast abundance of lower vs. higher IQ's there? Like come on... it's supposed to cause brain damage, no? Maybe that's why they're still using lead paint. They're all braindead (sorry if I've offended... it just makes me mad).

Brendan said...

(In which I check in with a contrarian point of view)

Regarding the emo kids, and recalling your rant about how people should not dress, I admit laughing. I even admit agreeing, at first response.

But I wonder. How much further do you go down these paths before you become the American Taliban?

Face it. Kids dress and cut their hair at least as much to annoy us grups as for any other reason. When you react the way you do, all you do is strengthen their case that there's something wrong with the old folks.

Okay. I'm not really crediting teenagers with thinking this deeply. But still. Lighten up, Francis.

In fairness, I can't find anything else to disagree with among today's Sornie Gripes.

choochoo said...

7up soda is revolting... I shudder just to think of it and it's definitly not going into my mouth... Yuck

Bridget Jones said...

LOVE this blog and great post too!!

Never liked 7up or most soft drinks except the grapefruit one.

Definitely agree with your comments on imported food and other stuff poison. Take a look into how much food is imported (hint: seafood) and where it comes from. It's revolting. Not just because it's imported but because of what I suspect is the same diligence that let lead and melamine cross the border.

sAssY brOwn said...

I hate anything hypocritical. Schools that preach health & have pizza day once aweek, people who complain about their illnesses that smoke & eat junk & approx. one thousnad other gripes. Hey, do you know what happened to Blondie's blog?