Monday, September 17, 2007

Meet O.J. Simpson, commentator, football player, killer, robber

We all know that even if O.J. Simpson couldn't squeeze his cleat-mangled hands into those snug leather gloves during the overly televised trial following him murdering both his ex-wife and her friend that he did in fact slay those two in cold blood.

Well, in his most recent attempt to further ruin his already trashed life, O.J. was busted breaking into a Vegas hotel room, First off, Vegas is know for its security systems in its hotels. With the hundreds of millions of dollars spent there you'd have to be a damn fool to try and do anything remotely close to breaking the law. Well, being the O.J. is in fact a damn murderous fool, he went ahead and broke into a Vegas hotel room to try to steal back some sports memorabilia that had supposedly been stolen from him. Oh, and the real kicker, the room was occupied by they guys he was attempting to rob.

Simpson was bright enough to recruit some average Joes that he met at the hotel bar during a wedding reception. That's always a great plan and sure to lead to even a better outcome. Of course, what would you expect from a guy who killed his ex-wife and a male friend of her's and had his nobody friend drive him down an L.A. freeway at speeds I exceed in my driveway. Would you expect anything remotely brilliant from a guy who gets busted stealing satellite TV channels? How about something smart from a guy who gets nabbed for his involvement in an ecstacy ring? It's hard to believe that a former NFL player would be lacking enough intelligence to get numerous citations by law enforcement agencies including speeding, wreckless driving and driving a speedboat through a manatee zone. Hell, maybe The Juice was just trying to get an up-close view of Rosie O'Donnell in her natural environment.

Finally, though, Simpson is behind bars and with no bail set. He's in jail but not for murder although with America's fucked up justice system we'll take what we can get.

5 comments:

sAssY brOwn said...

He's a bit more than challenged in the brains department.
Then again he did get away with murder so....

Sornie said...

He got away with murder (literally) because the poor saps dumb enough to be chosen for jury duty and not weeded out are those that can't piece together the simplest pieces of evidence in their pea-sized brains.

But he isn't alll bad, he had that pay-per-view prank show 'Juiced'...

Stephanie said...

That man is determined to go to jail, isn't he?

Hammer said...

The new report said he was whistling "if I only had a brain" from the wizard of oz as he was taken away in handcuffs.

Weird stuff

Brendan said...

Unless you all have better information than what I'm seeing reported, I urge you all to resist the rush to judgment.

Innocent until proven guilty. Remember that.

As with Judith Miller and free speech, the defense of our Constitutional rights is hard when it comes to apparent scalawags. But if we don't insist on them for everybody, then they mean little for us all.