Tuesday, August 07, 2007

This story is just nuts

Did you hear the one about the guy who had his testicles removed?

There's so many places one could go with a joke that begins like that but this one isn't a joke. A 62-year-old Twin Cities man, after being turned down by trusted medical professionals, sought out amateur ball removal specialists to aid in quelling what he had earlier described as "chronic pain" in that particular area.

I don't care how much pain my boys were causing me, I have a feeling that the pain of amateur nutectomy may be more than painful. Of course, desperate times...

Where, though, did the nearly social security aged man find the two or three "surgeons" to perform the procedure. I Googled testicle removal and fount no actual service providers. Maybe castration would be a better search but I hafta think local and nothing is more local than Dex. Supposedly, Dex knows but he knows nothing of castration in Minneapolis.

So where, then, did Joe Nonuts find a team of three to slice and dice his dangly bits? Craigslist, some shady guy hanging out near the entrance to the area hospital offering discount medical procedures or the always popular option of having your best friend do you a solid?

Whomever de-nutted him, they'll likely sell them (people sell everything) so keep a lookout on eBay for some fine Minnesota testicles. Maybe they'll go cheap.

5 comments:

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Sometimes you feel like having nuts, sometimes you don't.

Dorky Dad said...

I totally wouldn't have the balls to do that.

In fact, WHY WOULD ANYBODY VOLUNTARILY CASTRATE THEMSELVES??? Are they nuts?

Jen said...

Lorena Bobbit?

~Tim said...

It hurts just to read about it. I don't [want to] know where to find that service either, but I have heard that to circumcise a whale you need four skin divers....

Sornie said...

If this was just casual conversation and not the written word I would have heard the whale circumsision as foreskin divers which is hilarious to me for some reason.