Tuesday, August 21, 2007

If it says it isn't a scam...

I received an e-mail last week one day and decided to actually open up even though I didn't recognize the sender's name. I was curious what the latest spam was that had snuck through my e-mail host's spam filter. As I read on, I knew for sure that it was a scam as I had suspected from the minute I opened it. My suspicions were confirmed because the sender never refuted my wishes that scammers be eaten by the dogs of Atlanta Falcons QB Michael Vick and that they suffer though an afterlife of satan himself ass-raping them for attempting to use the facade of an elderly woman to scam people out of their hard-earned money.

Here's the letter that I received. Have you ever received anything like this? Was I in the wrong to wish a violent and gruesome death on this scammer?

Dear Friend,

My name is Mrs. Mabel Wells I am a dying woman who has decided to donate what I have to charity through you.You may be wondering why I chose you. But someone has to be chosen. I am 59 years old and was diagnosed for cancer about 2 years ago,after the death of my husband who had left me everything he worked for.I have been touched by the Lord to donate from what I have inherited from my late husband to charity through you for the good work of humanity,rather than allow my relatives to use my husband's hard earned funds inappropriately.

I have asked the Lord to forgive me all my sins and I believe he has,because He is merciful. I will be going in for an operation,and I pray that I survive the operation.I have decided to WILL/Donate the sum of ($4.3million) to charity through you for the good work of the Lord, and to help the motherless,less privileged and also for the assistance of the widows.At the moment I cannot take any telephone calls, due to the fact that my relatives are around me and I have been restricted by my doctor from taking telephone calls because I deserve all the rest I can get.

Presently,I have informed my consultant about my decision in WILLING this fund to charity through you. I wish you all the best and may the good Lord bless you abundantly, and please use the funds well and always extend the good work to others.If you are interested in carrying out this task,i will inform my consultant, so that he can arrange the release of the funds to you. I know i have never met you but my mind tells me to do this,and I hope you act sincerely.I decided that 35% of this money should be taken by you from the total sum upon the sucess release of this fund, because I am now too weak and frigile to do things myself because of my cancer.

NB:I sincerely know that a lot has been written about some SCAM coming out of the world,but I assure you that this will never in any way associated with that as you will be given the right to verify this directly with the the finance company where the fund was deposited.
I will appreciate your utmost confidentiality in this matter until the task is accomplished,as I don't want anything that will Jeopardize my last wish, due to the fact that I do not want relatives or family members standing in the way of my last wish.

Your sincerely,
Mrs Mabel Wells


Beth said...

I've never received one like that.
But hey - go for it. Get in touch with her financial consultant, give him your bank account number so he can release those funds to you and viola! Your account will be empty!

Who falls for these things???

cathouse teri said...

Oh yes, lots and lots and lots of those going around. Motherfuckers.

They always have something in the subject line with words like "help" or "please" or "pleading."

Jules said...

I may have received one or 10, but I never open them up... and thank god, or else I would have been tempted to write something as well thought out as you!

justacoolcat said...

I get spam like that all the time and I always read it and laugh. I love creative spam.

Hammer said...

Ten this week.

Some have hilarious names: "Hi my name is Vangina Lickbootee"

The email extentions are always from Russia or Eastern Europe.

Sornie said...

I was surprised that this one was from an actual e-mail provider, myway.com. I was tempted to play along for a while and see where it went but I don't have nearly that much time on my hands.

cathouse teri said...

I've decided to only open emails with the word "cock" in the subject line. They'll never figure that out! :)

buffalodickdy said...

I guess as long as there are dirtballs, we will have scams. You really would like to catch one and beat the sh*t out of them though..