Monday, June 18, 2007

Coca-Cola is the FOX of the soda world

To say that people, not just myself, sometimes fall in love with products, material items and even certain foods and beverages would be an obvious statement. Sure, it seems shallow as hell but it happens in today's materialistic world. Doing that, though, often leads to a broken and shallow heart as material items, products and goods in general have somewhat limited lifespans.

Earlier this year I got burned by FOX. Yea, the half-witted television network that relies solely on a certain program entitled "American Idol" and insists on juggling its entire schedule to accommodate this atrocity of the instant gratification, "reality"-obsessed generation. Well, it seemed that in late April that there may have been hope for the little puke bucket of a network as they launched an hour-long drama simply titled "Drive". Of course, like any program on FOX, its ratings weren't juggernaut-like and didn't meet of exceed the audience size of the aforementioned American Idol and the show was yanked after two weeks. I learned then and there to never again trust a television network or assume that any program will play out through its final episode.

Of course, the same can be said for any material object. That is where the southern "gentlemen" heading up the Coca-Cola Company come in to play. If you're an attentive consumer or, like me, involved in the advertising industry that litters your world with flashy messages and is ever present (even when you're facing a urinal in a bar restroom) you'll notice that the Coca-Cola can and their entire product line underwent an image overhaul recently. Curiously absent was the barely year-old and horrifically long-named Black Cherry Vanilla Coca-Cola. I have scoured stores in my regular shopping trips and tonight took to the interwebs for an answer.

The answer I found was not one of hope. Just like a television program, my beloved Black Cherry Vanilla Coca-Cola has been placed on hiatus as the soda overlords have brought Vanilla Coca-Cola back from its hiatus. Now if this turns in to some sort of Coke wheel of flavors, I am going to be far from happy (maybe even, and this is a stretch -- angry). I can only hope that a redesigned BCV Coke can is waiting in the wings ready to swoop in like a caped superhero and take the place once again of the inferior Vanilla Coke.

I know that with the problems plaguing the world at every turn that complaining, no, bitching about flavors of Coke seems petty but Coke, in all its tooth-rotting greatness, is the great escape from life's troubles. Let's work together to return BCV Coke to the shelves of stores everywhere. It's our duty as American citizens to stand up and make change happen!


Slick said...

Man, I almost shed tears when they stopped making the "Strawberry Milkshake" Oreos...I feel your pain....I know what you're going through

Queen of the Mayhem said...

I have fallen in love with many a beverage or food...only to have my heart ripped out of my chest by the greedy "suits" that run the companies! :)

I did feel that way when I was on the hunt for Lean Cuisine Paninis. It was ridiculous how hard I had to look for these things! Of course, that only served to make me want them more...which, I would be willing to bet was the plan all along!

Robert Rouse said...

How do I hate thee (thee=corporate R&D)?
Let me count the ways.
1. Arby's onion chips
2. Veronica Mars
3. Drive (I actually saw five episodes)
4. Diet Chocolate Creme Faygo
5. Steve Carell on The Daily Show
6. I give up, this list will be way too long!