Thursday, June 07, 2007

America's blondest bimbo out of jail

Paris Hilton, everyone's favorite amateur video star, is already out of jail after serving a whopping three days of the 23 days of her original 45 day sentence. The question is this: what did the celebutard learn from her 72 hour stint in the clink?

"Oh my gaahd, it was so ewww. I had to eat bread. Bread. That stuff is, like, totally full of carbs. I feel so bloated. It probably, like, went, like, all to my ass and I feel soooo puffy." The mildly retarded and vapid starlet continued, stating "I had to shower with a bunch of girls and they were soooo tacky, it was like they didn't even have time to, like, get their nails done or wear any make-up. They even, like, spit on me and one said she was gonna make me her wife, I don't even get that. It was, like, terrible. I didn't even get, like, a pillow or anything to sleep on. My extensions are, like, so icky right now. I could just barf."

Well, straight from the mouth of America's distraction from anything, that's the scoop. I can only hope that she has learned some sort of lesson and can, like, mentor Lindsay Lohan's coked-up ass and beat some sense into that whore but I doubt it because when you're famous for nothing more than being famous, you have the money to get out of anything -- even jail. I hope that she tapes her next gang-bang because something like that might start the downfall of her "career" that she so desperately deserves.


Hey, if you're done reading this, go one post back and read part one of "The Neighbor". It's a must-read if you want to fully understand Part Deux.

1 comment:

choochoo said...

So does this mean that you can get out of jail if you cry? I'll have to remember that one.