Thursday, June 07, 2007

America's blondest bimbo out of jail

Paris Hilton, everyone's favorite amateur video star, is already out of jail after serving a whopping three days of the 23 days of her original 45 day sentence. The question is this: what did the celebutard learn from her 72 hour stint in the clink?

"Oh my gaahd, it was so ewww. I had to eat bread. Bread. That stuff is, like, totally full of carbs. I feel so bloated. It probably, like, went, like, all to my ass and I feel soooo puffy." The mildly retarded and vapid starlet continued, stating "I had to shower with a bunch of girls and they were soooo tacky, it was like they didn't even have time to, like, get their nails done or wear any make-up. They even, like, spit on me and one said she was gonna make me her wife, I don't even get that. It was, like, terrible. I didn't even get, like, a pillow or anything to sleep on. My extensions are, like, so icky right now. I could just barf."

Well, straight from the mouth of America's distraction from anything, that's the scoop. I can only hope that she has learned some sort of lesson and can, like, mentor Lindsay Lohan's coked-up ass and beat some sense into that whore but I doubt it because when you're famous for nothing more than being famous, you have the money to get out of anything -- even jail. I hope that she tapes her next gang-bang because something like that might start the downfall of her "career" that she so desperately deserves.

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Hey, if you're done reading this, go one post back and read part one of "The Neighbor". It's a must-read if you want to fully understand Part Deux.

1 comment:

choochoo said...

So does this mean that you can get out of jail if you cry? I'll have to remember that one.