Wednesday, May 23, 2007

...On Grocery Stores

I do occassionally pen my insane thoughts on another blog and here's a gem from the archives...

Okay Cub Foods, I want you to clean the crap out of your ears and listen closely...

OPEN YOUR FUCKING CHECKOUTS.

It's three days before Christmas and I, unfortunately, stop on the way home in the city I work in -- a city of over 30,000 residents that has but ONE grocery store -- and at 5 PM in the afternoon you pricks have only half of your checkouts open. You should also run a community ed. course on proper shopping techniques including courteous cart parking, glazed-over browsing and traffic moving techniques.

In short, I would rather shove my penis into the container of a running food processor running at 'puree' speed than regularly shop at the local Cub Foods store. Damn you for being one of the worst Minnesota-based companies EVER. I'd rather store drums of 3M's toxic waste in my basement than be seen carrying one of those damned Cub Foods paper bags that disintegrates at the mere thought of three pounds of weight being placed inside.

5 comments:

mist1 said...

My mom refuses to shop at Cub. She had an experience there that was a little to urban for her shopping preferences. Let's just say that hair weaves were pulled out and police were called. Mom now refers to Cub Foods as Crip Foods.

H said...

I HATE Cub Foods. I can never find anything, the checkout thing is a HUGE issue, and --and I will admit that this is a complaint out of pure laziness-- I HATE BAGGING MY OWN GROCERIES.

I go to Byerly's instead which even though it is more expensive it is carpeted and nice ladies hand out samples all the livelong day and a professional bags my groceries for me and, if there are enough of them, puts them in my car.

The extra price is worth it for me.

Sornie said...

The thing that gets my goat (and there are plenty of them, things -- not goats) is that Super target has lower prices for most everything -- plus they bag your groceries. I always leave Cub muttering about my phantom paycheck. My latest price comparison was a 64 oz. bottle of V-8 Splash, $2.96 @ Cub, $1.98 @ Target.

H said...

Oh, SuperTarget. I used to get my groceries there, but then I moved, and there's no SuperTarget by my house (there's one by my work, but it does not work well to leave perishable items sitting in your car in the summer), hence the reason why I go to Byerly's.

Michelle said...

All right people use your freaking brains....the reason why Supertarget has cheap groceries is because they can sell almost everything else at 4 times the cost it took to produce it. And have you ever seen the selection at Supertarget pretty crappy. Unless all you eat is processed food. You can't even compare the freshness of Cub to the prepackaged processed food at Supertarget. Sorry for the rant but I Love My Cub!!!