Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Behold -- the best of the Twin Cities

If you aren't from here and yet you are reading this. Thank you. If you are from Minnesota and are reading this. Thank you, too. If you are from Minnesota, you have a leg up on this and may even be entirely familiar with this premise.

See, each year on the last Wednesday of April, local alt-weekly rag, The City Pages, publishes their "Best of the Twin Cities" issue. It contains the staff picks in a ton of categories randing from the best happy hour to the best AM radio personality. It runs the gamut of kitsch here in the Twin Towns.

Each year, there is usually some controversial pick that gets the rag some media attention outside their own four walls. Last year the staff chose the drug of choice for trailer home dwellers, meth, as the hands down favorite for best cheap thrill. That, of course, got plenty of flack from those with corn cobs up their asses who failed to realize that it was the paper's attempt (albeit a poor one) at a joke. The of course issued an apology and a statement saying that their staff doesn't condone the use of meth, blah blah blah. I don't think anyone actually thought it was true (or actually condones it) but even way back in 2006, people had to watch what they tried to float as a joke.

This year's Best of the Twin Cities issue, though, is entirely devoid of anything remotely interesting. They seem to have gone all sorts of mainstream on the throngs of readers who love this sort of useless crap and the businesses who decorate their walls with these awards as they gleefully boast about the staff of a newspaper telling the Twin Cities that this particular place is totally tits.

The only thing even mildly controversial in this year's best of is "Best Boondoggle". They chose what they described as "the shameful ethanol boom" in Minnesota. Hell, I hate that the only viable alternative fule we have currently is bankrolled by our own tax dollars but then so is oil -- so there! That sucks that this is the best that the staff of The City Pages could do for even a mildly controversial topic. Not exactly something that's going to grab some attention for the slipping alt-weekly but they try so hard. How about next year including the best public bathroom for an anonymous sexual encounter? That might stir up some much-needed controversy instead of naming Paul Allen as the best Sports Radio Talk Show Host, that's a cop out. Grow some damn balls.


Diesel said...

The Modesto Bee does a "Best of" thing every year and every year it's full of stuff like "Best Steakhouse: The Outback." Thanks, guys.

Sornie said...

That's about as good as naming Mc Donald's as the best hamburger but it wouldn't be true because those thin slabs of "meat" are as far from beef as one can get.

Alicia said...

I like the meth joke.
That's funny...

Brendan said...

Among the many measures of the declining quality of life in this country is certainly the ever-increasing lameness of so-called alt weeklies.

I don't even bother picking them up anymore, and you've given a fine example of why.

Anonymous said...

The City Pages item on ethanol couldn't even get Corn Cob Bob upset!

Bob Moffitt
Communications Director
Clean Fuels & Vehicle Technology
American Lung Assoc. of Minnesota

Sornie said...

Well Bob, I tried but failed. I guess I'll have to dig deeper next time.

Dorky Dad said...

I think that most of what's in that paper is generally pathetic. The paper doesn't have the guts it once did. This is what happens when corporations take over "alternative" weeklies.