Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Sometimes you just gotta go

Imagine this: you are on a long business trip on an Amtrak train. You have the sudden urge to, um, hell, I'll just say it -- take a dump. You penguin walk towards the train's restroom and find that it looks like a porta-potty midway through an all-you-can-eat chili cookoff. It makes the bathroom of that pre-foreclosure home we looked at a couple years back look like something out of a model home. It's disgusting to say the least.

What do you do? There's no way that you'll be able to hold this in until the next stop in Madison, Wisconsin. It isn't socially acceptable to just let go and do the business in your pants -- even the mentally ill refrain from that most times.

That's when you notice your brief case. If only there was a way to do your number two in that spiffy aluminum briefcase. Why hasn't anyone invented a portable toilet that fits in your brief case yet? If only someone would realize the need for a toilet that you could open up at a moment's notice and squat down on to relieve that most uncomfortable feeling.

Hold on there tex! You, my friend, are in luck. An inventor has come up with a fully functioning briefcase that houses a toilet, too. I am not sure that too many people are going to be uninhibited enough to pop a squat whenever they feel an urge to go but it definitely looks functional. I think, though, that more than a few executives may feel a tad squeamish lugging around their "business" while tending to important business.

I just have to say that this new briefcase/toilet is surely "the shit".


Diesel said...

That seems like a misguided idea. The problem is finding a place where you can do your business without everybody seeing. Maybe if the briefcase folded out into a privacy screen. And as for carrying the stuff around -- forget that, just fold the screen back up and walk away with a look that says, "Where the hell did THAT come from?"

Jay said...

This is way, way more detail than anyone needed!