Monday, February 05, 2007

And now your weekend news roundup

Damn. Move along. Nothing happened this weekend except the fact that the Superbowl took place and millions upon millions of people vegged out watching two teams from bordering states play a game that folks in the other 48 states could honestly give a crap about. Having said that, I didn't watch the game but predicted that the Baltimore, um, Indianapolis Colts won and I was right!

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Male children of the world beware: certain oils in popular shampoos have been linked to temporary breast growth. This is great news and explains the increasing epidemic of dreaded "man tits" and gives boys a reason to shun washing their hair.

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If scientific predictions are even remotely correct, humanity is screwed. By 2100 an increase of 3.5-8 degrees is predicted as well as sea levels rising between 7 and 23 inches and continuing to rise for a millennium. I will be more than happy to reverse positions on this should the predictions be wrong because I have grown fond of this planet and suck at swimming.

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We (my wife and I) hosted our annual rawkus winter shindig (or maybe it was a hootenanny) at our cavernous home in the valley. Most instances of nudity were avoided and what looked like dead bodies late at night turned out to be alive as they arose Sunday morning. I am still working on polishing off my fancy bottle of Danish rubbing alcohol, um, Vodka. The cats are still wondering just why in the hell they were forced into the basement for 16 hours.

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