Tuesday, October 31, 2006

U.S. government buys home in Fantasyville

In the federal government's latest push to smother American under a blanket of abstinence, they are now saying that all unmarried individuals under the age of thirty should abstain from sexual intercourse. The is as likely to happen as Bush stepping down as president because he has become a well-educated Harvard graduate who believes in global warming, supports abortion, supports gay marriage and plans to buy an electric car.

Where was I? Oh, yea. Holy shit, the powers that be have lost their damn minds. The fantasy land that these individuals live in is a place where it rains gumdrops and the grass is made of candy canes.

To think that a demographic (20-29 year olds) in which 90% have had sexual intercourse will change their ways and suddenly strap on a chastity belt is beyond the realm of common sense.

I can only wonder how long before the government forces some form of chemical-induced abstinence via shots so the desire to have sex before marriage is non-existent.

It is a great thing that I am married, therefore legal to have all sorts of wild sex. If I was single, though, the government says it would be in my best interest to lock my penis away in a dark corner and keep it there until I am legally able to show it the daylight it so deserves. What's next from these batshit crazy loonies?

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