Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Thanks for the obvious

KARE 11 has a blurb stating that Box Elder bugs will be worse than usual this year. Yep. Turns out that they are. But I knew that a few months back as I began to notice the creepy little bastards inhabiting portions of our wood mulched landscaping. As I noticed the youngsters (as KARE 11 has pictured with the story), I promptly sprayed them. I thought for sure I had these pricks nailed.

Then came yesterday. I skipped my plan for a round of disc golf and went from work directly home. I figured I could destroy the garden and mow the lawn and be done before sunset.

Little did I know that the black and red Box Elder bugs had made their triumphant return. As I walked to the back door of the house, I saw literally thousands of these pesky assholes clinging to the windows and siding. I quickly threw my day's collection of goods inside and returned to Box Elder bug hell to kill these fuckers once and for all.

I rigged up my hand sprayer and like an angry scientist I mixed my death tea for these unwanted visitors. Lugging the two-gallon mix of sludge around the west and south sides of the house, I furiously sprayed and increased the pressure and nozzle adjustment to reach the top of the towering two story house. I would win this battle. They have nowhere to go after I weatherstripped the drafty old storm windows last year and have been slowly replacing busted up old wood windows for more efficient vinyl models.

After twenty minutes of spraying and cursing as the occasional flying bastard landed on my arm I was spent. Thank you, though, to KARE 11 for such a timely news item. Box Elder bugs bad in Minnesota this year. I already knew that and there is simply NOTHING that will kill them all short of a nuclear bomb and I think the outcome would resemble that of cockroaches... they would survive, too.

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