Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Spears gives birth to second future welfare recipient

It's official. The already tore up lady parts of Britney Spears will soon be subject to the filth of Kevin Federline far too soon.

Spears gave birth via caesarean section early Monday morning somewhere in greater Los Angeles, California, likely in a licensed medical facility or the back of an Airstream RV. There is little information other than that the spawn weighed in just shy of 7 lbs. and is male.

I wonder if it was born with an entourage already in place. Was this child born complete with full corn rows? Does baby boy Federline already have a baby on the way from one of his baby mommas? We all know how those Federline spermies are. Them's some potent baby batter.

Early Tuesday evening, Spears did make the following brief statement to be released to members of the press.

"I'm doin' alright, y'all!" She went on to say after munching a few Habanero Nacho Cheese Doritos "I am just sick of Kevin gettin' all up in my girly parts with his damn baby wand. That bastard has two kids with me and two with that filthy whore Char Jackson. Screw using condoms, I'm callin' Goodyear and get some raincoats made outta innertubes." Pausing again to pick up from the floor the nearly one-year-old Sean Preston, she continued "I'm just sick of being a pregnant fatty, I can manage being sloppy and fat without havin' another slippery baby to deal with, seems like their skin's all covered in oil y'all. Darn it, who am I kiddin', that dummy Kevin always puts the damn condom on his foot. He knows it should go on his fingers when he's reaching all up in my coo-coo."

Spears then promptly sat aside her econo-size bag of Cheesy Curls and picked up her newborn which had dropped to the floor while she recorded her statement. No information was available regarding the status of either infant's NAMBLA affiliation or whether Federline himself was a NAMBLA member.


No said...

I'm certaintly glad she was eating cheese curds.

No said...

woops..cheesy hard to keep track these days..