Thursday, September 28, 2006

Do we really want ANY politican national convention here?

Excuse my use of the ever-present Fox News Channel (R) question mark but it is a serious question. Why do we, not just as the city of St. Paul but the entire state, want the Republican National Convention or the Democratic one for that matter. As the link in the headline states, it will be one uncontrollable political adoration orgy. The partisan talking hacks will masturbate profusely over the chance to catch a glimpse at their respective party's nominee in the very flesh that could 'lead' this country for the next four years. Never mind the verbal fellating that will take place should one of these microphone clutching phonies get the chance to actually converse with the object of their hetero-crush on some scratchy 1,000 watt AM radio station heard if you stand on one foot holding a roll of aliminum foil in your right hand while you firmly grasp your coffee maker with the left hand.

Forget protesting. I agree that the right of free speech via a peaceful protest is from an era long ago. As we saw in NYC in 2004, the protest will take place not in Farmington, MN but at the adandoned Army Ammo Depot in that podunk lil' burb on the north side of the Twin Cities. Hell, it already has a fence in place so it's PERFECT!

Traveling, too, will be a hassle. The convention just HAPPENS to fall during the Great Minnesota Get Together. We know that this shindig ties up more than a few Metro Transit busses but those very busses may be commandeered for hauling the sign-toting political junkies who get their non-narcotic fix at the Xcel Energy Center in 2008. Sure, the idea has been brought up that St. Paul can borrow some busses to haul these folks trapped in their Bloomington hotel rooms to downtown St. Paul. But borrowing them from Rochester? That will be 12 busses, all we need is another 238 more. And as Moderate Left pointed out, forget driving through the Twin Cities at all during those lost four days.

But he also pointed out the plusses. An increase, for sure, in the business for prostitutes of all sexual orientation, the illegal painkiller trade will skyrocket as we KNOW Rush Limbaugh (if he isn't under house arrest by then) needs his OxyContin and he needs ALOT of it and the bars - oh how them bars will profit. Stereotypical southern state delegates will hanker for jug upon jug of moonshine and kegs of Lone Star will be in short supply. Stuffy northern state delegates will fawn over selections of rare imported beers and fine aged wine. At least they can all smoke their cigars in St. Paul inside the bars.

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