Friday, September 15, 2006

Bringing SexyBack for Music Friday

In light of that awfully dry (think chewing on the broken pieces of a 4'x8' sheet of drywall) and nearly impossible to digest piece on transit I posted earlier, I am trying to lighten the mood for what sounds to be a dark, dank and overly moist weekend. Not to mention that it's gonna cool down.

I have some early contenders for worst song of the year. Yes, I know the year has more than three months left but these songs are so terrible, they deserve some early consideration.

Fergie - London Bridge

She bragged about her lady lumps and her humps and all dat ass inside dem jeans while trashing up 'The Black Eyed Peas' and dance-ifying a group that had only a small but loyal following prior to their pop success as they sold their souls for popularity. Then she went solo this year with what I can only assume is an entire CD of mindless ass-shakin' tunes that you too can hear at your local g-dawg hip-hop 'club'. You know the type, they charge five bucks for a cover charge and ladies drink free 'til 10 PM as they shake their asses to some of the most nauseating music ever produced.

Anything produced by Scott Storch.

I saw his picture in Rolling Stone. This guy is simply getting back at the hoardes of knuckle dragging jock sniffers who repeatedly stuffed his ass into various lockers throughout his high school career. He still looks like he may indulge in heading up a chess club meeting from time to time but is enjoying his revenge by leeching money out of the pockets of 14 year-old girls who are brainwashed by big radio and flock to the local FYE superstore and wrecklessly plop down $18.98 for the newest Jessica Simpson disc. He is good at what he does but is poisoning an entire generation of music lovers.


SlimAdam said...

i like fergie and jessica AND their videos. they make me feel funny in my tummy.

Tinker said...

hey now... i did happen to see the fergi video and i saw her perform the song live. yes it is a mindless tune but it does have "danceability!" that is about all. i do not think i would put her as worse song of the year.