Monday, January 16, 2006

Jessica: 'I'm Gonna Be OK'

Oh, thank GOD! And here I was worrying myself to sleep every night but Jessica Simpson assures her legions of adoring fans that she is strong and will pull through her breakup with husband Nick Lachey.

I suspect, though, that it was more than irreconcilable differences that led to the fairytale Simpson-Lachey marriage coming to and end.

Maybe, just maybe, it was partly the fault of her oddly obsessive and possibly incestuous father, Joe Simpson. The puppetmaster and ogling patriarch of the Simpson clan has, in the past, abnormally spoke of daughter Jessica Simpson's overly full bust. I thnk that, deep inside, Joe Simpson lusts for his twenty-something daughter, Jessica Simpson.

While I am not going to speculate about the possibilities of what could, in theory, be an extremely wrong relationship, I will leave with wiping the sweat from my bwo and will finally be able to sleep soundly knowing that that fucking no-talent hack Jessica Simpson will pull through just fine. Even if she was too stupid to sign a pre-nup and will lose half of the money daddy whored her out for. That might teach her. Or not.

No comments: