Wednesday, December 14, 2005

What makes a song 'the worst'?

I think I'll join with City Pages writer, Corey Anderson, in nominating my very own worst song of the year. While I agree the 'My Humps' by the Blackeyed Peas is atrocious and very well could be the worst, it's close to the top of my list but not, indeed, 'the worst'.

Rather than do some lame-ass top ten list of the best songs, worst songs and most impressive televised moments from the past year I'll name just one song. The worst song of 2005. I will dig far back through the archives contained in my copy of iTunes on my wife's iMac. I will work tirelessly and for hours without pause to determine the one song that sunk further than any other. Of course the criteria for the worst song of 2005 are very stringent and precise. It has to be irritating beyond all tolerance. It has to grate on your every nerve, testing your patience and eating away at each and every fiber of your conscious being. It will be a song which permeates your subconscious causing you to awake at 3 AM humming its ridiculous chorus aloud and singing it aloud in the shower as you lather up with your bar of aloe-laced Ivory soap.

Check back for my vomit-inducing nomination for WORST SONG OF THE YEAR.

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