Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Spears tosses Federline

Rumors are running wild that the 'not-that-innocent' one, Britney Spears, has kicked out the scruffy, freeloading, fuck by the name of Kevin Federline.

Wow. Never saw THAT one coming.

Who would have thought that a guy with a gaggle of illegitimate children running around every city he has spent four hours in could have possibly been a deadbeat?

The story goes that one of Kev's buds showed up with, well, a bag of bud. Spears then promptly fired a couple security guards and kicked the pot-man and Federline out.

Spears seems to have made a great decision by marrying this dirty piece of trailer trash who would be more at home along a set of railroad tracks in a town such as Coon Rapids than the posh and tony Beverly Hills.

What, though, will become of Spears? I, for one, am worried now that she is sans husband, she may be forced to return to the recording studio and crank out a compilation entirely of covers. Not covers, though, of other people's songs but covers of her very own music. She is just sharp enough to think that covering her own music would actually fly. I suppose that there enough brain-dead teens who adore anything that doesn't actually contain a true musical instrument to make this imagined scheme work.

What, too about her now fatherless son? Preston (her son) will grow up never knowing his shit-stain of a father. And we can only imagine the next catch Spears will take behind an Ember's restaurant and create another child and subsuquent marriage. Maybe she will hook up with a fry cook from a Flying J truckstop. Maybe a cashier from a BP gas station/convenience store.

She truly will become America's former sweetheart and pop sensation turned gutter wench.

1 comment:

tom said...

That must have been some pretty crappy weed to make Brit that mad!