Friday, November 25, 2005

Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

As I know all too well, you receive millions of letters each year and I suspect that many get read by your minions of elves and assorted clerical employees.

I will assume, unless I hear different, that mine is no exception.

I will cut the crap Santa, this will be short, sweet and painless. My Christmas (see how I didn't use the term 'holiday') list consists of nothing materialistic.

My first Christmas wish this year is not for the oh-so-coveted X-Box 360 which caused people to camp overnight earlier this week in bitter cold but for my wife, Mary, to finally get a job which will alleve her shoulder, neck and back pain. With multiple years of standing and doing repetitive motions on a daily basis, she needs out. Now more than ever as doctor bills pile up and her place of employment threatens to close for upwards of a year due to highway construction projects which have driven sales into an enormous hole while the owner constructs a new store.

This alone would make my holiday season complete.

However, if you have some more time to stuff a few non-materialistic things into your sack, I would love for my car to receive a much-needed tune-up. The biggest problem seems to lie in the transmission with a secondary issue being the non-functioning driver's side door. Sure would be swell if you could swing getting it working again.

Among other things, I would love for affordable home heating this winter. The $190/month my gas company saddled me with after my contract for $145/month earlier this year stings more than a bit.

I won't take up any more of your time Santa, I know there's only one month left until you pack up your magical sleigh and shimmy down the chimneys or jimmy front doors open on your quest to gift the entire world on one night.

By the way, our chimney leads straight to the basements with no place to escape. You've been warned.

Thanks again.

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