Tuesday, November 29, 2005

British invasion to continue for another five years

Somewhere, deep in the darkest corners of Hell, someone, likely this hateful and bitter whiner, is pocketing the soul of one Simon Cowell.

Just when you thought FOX had sucked so much that there was no more suck to be had with their oh-so thought-inspiring programming along the lines of 'The War at Home' and 'Stacked', the sign the bitter Brit for another five years of 'American Idol'.

FOX, what have we ever done to you to anger you so? Why do you feel the need to punish us with five more seasons of 'singers' who think because they have done karaoke a couple times, they have what it takes to kiss asses and suck an enormous numbers of cock in the music biz and make a hit single that gets radio play?

With such an amazing record of producing everyday-name talent, why do hundreds of thousands of suckers still line up and camp out for days just to be told 'That was aight, dawg', giggled to by Paula Abdul and verbally ass-raped by Cowell. Although most of these people need a good old-fashioned ass-raping to realize that they do, in fact, SUCK!

When was the last time you heard a song on the radio by that pussy, Clay Aiken? Hell, not even gay and broke Barry Manilow fans fall for this loser's piss-poor Manilow imitation.

Oh, and what happened to extra-large Ruben Studdard? Has he finally made the transition to NFl, sorry, Arena Football League linebacker? He sure has cranked out a lot of face time on, what BET2...

And then there's Fantasia 'I am soooo illiterate' Barino. She has a web site. But so does about half of the industrialized world. So she's got that going for her.

Of course, for those three relative failures, two have actually gone on to make a name for themselves. Most recent winner, Carrie Underwood, is getting play on country radio stations apparently. Top that off with those Hershey chocolate commercials that make want a chocolate bar extremely bad and she has some potential.
Maybe it's a conspiracy, though. Because two who have slipped into relative obscurity already are African-American, maybe the music industry, gasp, makes success intentionally difficult for minorities.

Sniff, sniff -- I DO smell a conspiracy here.

Then, of course, is the immensely successful Kelly Clarkson. Let's overlook the nearly straight-to-DVD 'From Justin to Kelly' movie that very well should have tanked her career, she is huge. Hell, she was one of about two reasons to watch MTV's VMAs this year. You can't turn on a radio station that plays current pop hits without hearing something sung by her.

Maybe 'Idol' does produce successes after all. But it sure is painful having to hear the endless chatter for five months over last night's 'performances'. Plus it makes people actually watch crap like 'Stacked' which, I am sorry to say, isn't a hit.

As for Clarkson and Underwood, keep on keeping on and for Aiken -- GO AWAY. You are the punchline for EVERY gay joke since you first appeared on FOX. Give it up.

8 comments:

Smartie said...

Oh come on! You didn't even mention American Idol's biggest star!

SlimAdam said...

funny thing is i'd rather listen to a william hung record over clay aiken any day. kelly clarkson is hot and thats the only reason i pay attention to her....

Brian said...

How can I disagree with the overwhelming support for William Hung and his unforgettable and stirring rendition of 'She Bangs'.

I second Adam's motion for Kelly Clarkson being hot.

SlimAdam said...

i think i may piss off those hateful, bitter whiners you linked to. i started posting on their blogs. they friggin infuriate me man!

The Exile said...

Do me a favor: reread that post and call me a "hateful and bitter whiner" again.

I'm a bundle of joy and happiness compared to you!

You call me a bitter and hateful whiner and then go on a bitter, heteful rant whining about how FOX is causing you so much grief, and attacking the contestants on American Idol on the most personal level possible.

You liberals are truly blind to your own hypocrisy, aren't you?

I agree with you on one point, however: American Idol is an over-hyped piece of garbage that satisfies the sheep of this country. The difference is that I've never seen a minute of it, and you know all about it.

Will you post this comment that shows your amazing hypocrisy? I notice that you have the filter on your comments, so I doubt it. However, I have cut and pasted it into MS Word, so if you don't, I will. Is that a threat? You bet.

You don't have much to worry about even if you do post it, though. You've been blogging for two years and have 10,000 hits. It's not like anyone's going to see it or anything. I can see why you think that I have "legions" of readers.

Talk to ya later, Bri.

The Exile said...

My apologies. Apparently your filter isn't on. When I hit refresh, my comment didn't show up. I'm not used to any lag.

Cheers!

SlimAdam said...

exile, you talke about *LIEberals* attacking others? jeez. i don't watch 'american idol' either but i can name just about every winner and runner up. or do you forget that they cover this shit on the news channels you apparently love so much? yeah, cnn, fox news and the lot of them cover american idol. brian attacks them on a personal level cause most of em have sold their souls to embody such a horrible 'musical' travesty. while some have used it merely as a vehicle for careers (kelly clarkson, gavin degraw) most have assumed it grants them instant celebrity (clay aiken and justin something or other) and some folks have just been used to make money (william hung). i will say however that brian exxagerated when calling you a 'hateful whiner'. but some of the others i've seen are actually much worse than that. i would almost consider them extremist fanatics. i've met a few good people who i hope to keep chatting with but , dang...I weep for the country. and if you don't like the star trib, do you like the pioneer press?

weren't we talking about american idol?

Brian said...

Exile, I don't watch the show but the fact that the local FOX station runs a recap of the show on its 9 PM and Morning News is rather hard to get around. Now with the 5 PM addition to their lineup, they'll have one more outlet and another hour to shill the virtues of 'Idol'.

As for calling you a bitter and hateful whiner, I got a reaction out of you, showing that you read my blog and for that, I thank you.