Thursday, October 20, 2005

Tales of today or Menard's, I Love You!

What, you ask, has been going on in my life?

Odd question because nobody really wants to know what is happening in somebody else's life, most people have trouble keeping up with their own life.

Or maybe you want to know because you are concerned that I didn't have the usual insightful post yesterday. I had nothing yesterday. NO, the world hasn't stopped. I didn't die. I wasn't abducted by anal probing aliens. I was busy with a rare long day at the office.

I was probably busier than usual due to the fact that I had today off and had additional projects to take care of so as not to burden others in my department. I guard my work very closely and trust only myself to do certain assignments. It makes life easier for the sales team and the customers.

All that lengthy explanation brings me to today.

I originally had the cable company scheduled to stop out and fix a problem I realized I had with my digital cable box. The plan of Mary taking care of that visit after work came crashing down when she went ahead and decided to go with her sister to get a baby shower present after work today. We threw down and decided that I would scrap a vacation day, one of two I had left, to hang out and wait for the cable company.

That seemed like one hell of a wasted day so I decided to do some prep work on my attic insulation project. In a 106 year old house, attics are interesting to say the least.

When I finally fully made my way up there earlier this week after having to purchase an aluminum step ladder I discovered a treasure trove of unused doors from somewhere in the house which were painted a very seventies yellow and some square windows. And lumber. Alot of lumber.

The odd thing about the square windows, six of them to be exact, is that the house has only two square windows, both of which are in the attic dormers. This finding still has me perplexed. I also discovered a rather dated heating duct which may or may not be wrapped in 100 percent asbestos insulation. I am in no hurry to find out the truth about that one.

Alright, back to today. It became very obvious that I would have to remove some of these items to properly insulate this unholiest of attics. To tackle the massive amounts of stuff in this behemoth, I needed a plan. What better place for a guy to clear his head than at Menard's. For me that is the ultimate home improvement center. It beats the hell out of the other two big box home improvement/do-it-yourself retail giants (Home Depot & Lowe's).

Eventually, after sweeping the morning crust from my eyes, I hopped in my chariot and made my way to the nearest Menard's Super Center. Complete with its indoor lumber yard, it had everything I needed.

I began with baffles for attic ventilation. They, however, need soffit vents to function properly. A generous sized stack of those should suffice. Onward to buy one bundle of lath. Handy to nail on to rafters and mark the electrical junction boxes for the second floor ceiling lights and the wiring which was obviously (for good reason) an afterthought in our 1800's house.

Oh, I need a stapler to attach the baffles to the roof, and some screws to attache the vents to the lovely bead board soffit. Check and check. What else?

Oooh. Circular saw (insert Homer Simpson drool here). Into the cart with thee! Onward trusty cart. Onward! Yaah!! (sound of whip cracking)

If I plan to store some of this stuff rather than somehow removing it, I need to build something to store it all on. Oooh. That means building something. Yes! I need sawhorses. Two of the cheapest sawhorse kits you have, sir!

Throw in a few pairs of gloves for insulating day and we are outta this bitch.

Once home, I unloaded my treasure trove of purchases and giggled with glee as I assembled my sawhorses. built a rack to hand from the rafters and violently heaved junk from the removed attic window onto my front lawn as cars drove by and people wondered aloud "What the fuck is the insane guy doing now?"

All told, not a complete waste of a day after all. And I did some laundry and mowed the lawn to chop up the leaves of what seemed to be every tree in town.

Now, back to your regularly scheduled programming.

No comments: