Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Gyrate-gate gets Vikes in news again

Oh, Minnesota Vikings, why do you aim to be such immense disappointments?

As if year after year of dismal on-the-field performance wasn't bad enough, we also have to bear witness to the off-the-field scandals which make murderers, rapists and robbers look like upstanding citizens capable of winning father (or mother) of the year awards.

It was only a couple winters back when a sex-related scandal surfaced at some resort in the state's northern reaches where a woman was (I believe) drugged and raped by one of the overpaid professional athletes on the Minnesota VIkings lineup.

Now, last Thursday, a group of Minnesota Vikings rented a couple large boats on the posh and tony Lake Minnetonka where they were met by a group of women.

From there, a cornucopia of sexual acts took place along with supposed drug use while alcohol flowed freely as the crews of the two boats watched in supposed disgust.

Thus 'Gyrate Gate' (props to KFAN's Common Man) was born.

What is truly perplexing is why these highly-paid 'athletes' would engage in such behavior when employees of the boat company were watching as drinks were being served to half-clothed women and men.

This is simply not an issue of race, it is an issue of respect.

Why in the hell would you feel it necessary to have either a stripper, prostitute or random woman mouthify one's wang on the open waters of the Twin Cities' most populated and busy lake?

Did these overweight underachievers actually think that this behavior would be overlooked as they are somehow above the law?


That's why I hope that their names, players and the mouthifiers of said wangs, are publicly displayed and hefty fines, suspensions and jail time are handed out for the purple players.

That leads to a whole other issue of professional athletes. They are essentially overpaid, spolied man-children. For much of their lives, their athleticism was nurtured while their work was done for them and their childish and sometimes criminal behavior was overlooked.

It's time to level the playing field and subject them to the same punishments as average citizens.

Oh, yea, quit having sex on Lake Minnetonka where people can see it happen and try not to piss on lawns in Mound. That's the kind of crap that get's you in trouble.

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