Monday, September 19, 2005

An open letter to NBC, or 'STOP SUCKING'

Dear NBC,

I urge you to stop riding the ratings bandwagon based on 'what's popular at the moment' and focus on the big picture.

The last time your has-been network had a bonafide scripted hit of any sort was 'Friends'. Do you remember 1994? Yea, things were great. Your network was on top. You had untethered yourself from that hack Bryant Gumbel and you still had a portion of the NFL football contract. (Not to mention the NBA)

Then you rolled got comfortable. You refused to shell out the bucks for NFL football. You lost that. 'Seinfeld' decided to go out while the show was still on top in the ratings. A wise decision by the creators of the show but it left a gaping hole in your previously stellar Thursday night lineup. A hole that you tried to fill over and over again with failed and poorly conceived sitcoms - remember a show with 'Schwartz' in the title? Neither do I.

The audience for 'Will & Grace' grew but, in time, it has become a worn out show. Its stars are moving towards roles in movies and its days as a show are numbered.

Then, at the end of the 2004 season, 'Friends' called it quits six years later than they should have. This turned out to be the deathblow for Thurdays on NBC. A painfully unfunny 'Friends' spinoff titled 'Joey' was slated to fill the leadoff spot on Thursdays. This, paired with the advent of a reality show in the middle of a once heroic Thursday lineup was the final straw.

I personally suffered through the growing pains of Thursday night as 'Cosby' and 'Cheers' bid us farewell. 'Frasier' was a fitting spinoff/replacement for three seasons then it, too, got stale. I tried to watch the never ending parade of short-lived sitcoms you desperately tried to plug into the spaces between the stellar bookends of the lineup.

Some of the fillers caught on. The first season of 'Good Morning Miami' was excellent television. A sort of romantic comedy that didn't know that it was one. Then it was forcibly retooled and made to suck. I flipped the channel. 'Scrubs' was another great show that desperately deserved its spot on Thursday night. It was pushed aside to flounder in various timeslots until landing on Tuesday nights where I hope it had found a permanent home and will be treated well as it has an enormous cult and critic following.

Then there is 'E.R.'. A show which has died many horrible deaths and deserves to be put out of its misery -- IMMEDIATELY. Oh, give me an eraser, I'll make this washed up drama disappear like you did to 'Freaks & Geeks'.

In short, your treatment of shows which deserve a fighting chance is disappointing and your choices to fill three hours of airtime each evenings is wreckless and nauseating. STOP RUINING TV.

Do we really need an hour each of Martha Stewart and Donald Trump showing Joe Citizen the right was to fold a bath towel or wear a suit and tie in a boardroom?

Fuck You NBC.

The only thing you have to make me watch is one small hour of comedy on Tuesday nights. We used to be tight. Now you are just my piece of action on Tuesdays. The rest of my week belongs to someone else. To me, you are a crusty old housewife who wears a mumu as a form of dressing up.

Again, Fuck You.

1 comment:

Brian said...

I agree with what you say, but in the future, it might be best to leave 'Fuck You' out of what was, at first, a respectable open letter.