Thursday, February 24, 2005

Snow turns average drivers into bubmling, knuckle dragging apes

It snowed overnight. Never mind the fact that it was only around one inch and it blew extremely easily off the highways I travel on my commute to 'the office'.

What I find hard to believe is that so many Minnesotans are still unable to handle their vehicles in such oh so precarious driving conditions.

In a state that is known for nothing more than being snowy and cold, the number of inept winter drivers here is astounding. A light powder of snow on the roads will immediately slow traffic to a snail's pace and cause rush hour to drag an hour or more longer than usual. This is simply odd to me.

Where I came from (southern Minnesota), the drivers are very skilled when it comes to winter driving. Glare ice seems to even bring out the best in people. It seems to make them drive even faster and more recklessly than normal. It is the type of weather that prompts drivers to steer with their knees and write notes while drinking coffee and smoking all at once. I, too, was quite good at this. However, the Twin Cities have forced me to change my habits.

I now drive at breakneck speeds while weaving in and out of slower moving traffic. I crank up the iPod's volume and scream carelessly at anything and everything I see. I crack up when I see a pasture filled with horses, some of which just happen to be miniature in stature. It's distractions like this that keep me from smoking, drinking coffee (or maybe even grinding and brewing it myself), writing notes and carrying on a phone conversation while I steer with my knees and paint my toenails even though they are quite shiny as it is.

What I guess I am really saying here is that with all the distractions drivers face on the raodways, they still suck a hell of alot more than they rightfully should. They seem to find every way in the book to piss me off while still arriving at their destination.

Of course their destination, during snowfalls, would have to be the ditch next to the road they were once on.

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