Thursday, January 06, 2005

WARNING: Warnings ahead

We've all seen the inordinate number of warnings affixed to nearly everyinch of products sold to consumers. Some of the warnings are legitimate, manufacturers wanting consumers to be careful with their new purchases. However, some of these warningsare just plain dumb. And we all know that a warning tag or sticker is not needed unless the situation described on the warning has actually occurred.

This all brings us to theannual awards for the dumbest warning. It went something like this...

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The $500 first prize went to Ed Gyetvai, of Oldcastle, Ontario, who submitted the toilet-brush label. A $250 second prize went to Matt Johnson, of Naperville, Ill., for a label on a children's scooter that said, "This product moves when used."

A $100 third prize went to Ann Marie Taylor, of Camden, S.C., who submitted a warning from a digital thermometer that said, "Once used rectally, the thermometer should not be used orally."

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The toilet brush label they are speaking of in the story warned that the brush was NOT for personal hygiene. That statement alone leads me to believe in my disturbing world, that deep in our country's southern states, Barbara Jean Marie who runs a cafe which has a menu containing fried possum somehow used her toilet brush in a failed attempt to scrub her tooth. Likely after using the toilet brush for its intended purpose. Which led to a rather dumb lawsuit where BrushCo was sued for millions of dollars which Barbara Jean Marie used to buy her 12 younguns guns to play with. The outcome of that mishap in the making will be the story of next year's awards.

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