Tuesday, December 07, 2004

Motley Crue returns, apocalypse nears

As I watched the "We Lean Right So You Don't Have To" 9 Morning News today the local "personalities" ran a story about the reunion tour of Motley Crue. What scared me more than Motley Crue heading out on a reunion tour is that their fans still looked the same as I remember seeing them way back when my elementary school bus transferred to a different bus at my hometown high school in the late 1980's. It was scary. These fans haven't changed one bit. They still have the long, far beyond mullet-length hair and skin-tight black jeans that they likely wore nearly 20 years ago.

What blows me away even more is that drummer Tommy Lee still looks the same. The rest of the band has put on a few pounds and can be easily seen as older to say the least. Tommy Lee still looks like he could drill Pamela Anderson all night long, film it, sell it, and go at it again. He is an enviable talent when it comes to music but sorry bud, throwing down for a Motley Crue reunion tour isn't going to help attract any new fans. Anyone out there remember his reincarnation in the late 1990's with a rap-rock project called "Methods of Mayhem"? Yea.

Getting back to the meat of this "story", Crue will be swinging through the Twin Cities to 'Shout at the Devil' in the near future. So you damn well better squeeze your 35-year-old ass into some skin-tight black jeans and a Crue t-shirt so you don't have to call 'Dr. Feelgood' in the morning.

Peace out all you 80's metalheads who keep fighting for the return of 80's rock.

P.S.: It ain't coming back any time soon so vacuum pack your skin-tight black jeans and Crue t-shirt, put them in the basement and wait another 15 years and try again.

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