Friday, August 13, 2004

It's just not worth the hassle

I loathe them with ever fiber of my being. It all went down something like this. Earleir in the week, Mary told me that she had in her possession a guest pass to Sam's Club. I replied in saying that I needed to pick up some things and we should go check the place out Friday after we were done with our usual tasks.

After we ate at the area's newest Mexican restaurant, we hopped on the highway to the mecca known as Sam's Club. We flashed the guest pass as we entered and we on our way to what we both thought would be big savings. Soon I lowered my expectations to be savings. Soon I was comparing everything to buying it at the most inconvenient place one could purchase the product we were looking at. There were a few bargains to be found on giant sizes of things we needed and as the cart neared capacity, we ventured towards the slowly moving checkouts.

The first snag was the number scanned from the guest pass wouldn't register. No big whoop, the cashier typed it in and it was accepted. This, however, turned out to be a moot point as we were hit with an "upcharge". What the hell was this? I thought that to myself as the befuddled cashier signaled using her handy pole-mounted red light for a higher-up to ask the question to. The more senior associate explained that because we were not member but only shopping on a one-day guest pass, we would be assessed a 10% "upcharge". At this I felt my face get warm and my jaw began to clench. I bit my tongue and thought, what the fuck. We've come this far and there were a few bargains, I guess I'll pay the extra to shop in such oh-so-lovely surroundings while being served by employees who knew as much about shopping here as I did myself.

I proceeded to pay and swiped my card as the more senior associate explained that I would have to hit the "debit" key as my card bore the Visa logo as opposed to the only credit brand they accept, Discover. Side point, but who in the name of holy fuck only takes DISCOVER? I have never known ANYONE who has a freakin' DISCOVER card. I will never have one so as to discourage myself from shopping at the pits of evil - SAM'S CLUB. I then hit "debit" and entered my PIN. A message soon appeared that my card had not registered on the network. The senior associate then whipped towards me a tiny blue sign explaining what debit networks they used. Since my card only showed the two most widely-accepted network names, I was shit outta luck in that department.

It was at that point that we both considered simply leaving the cart and this entire experience behind us and be ahead by $140. I stupidly decided that we had come this far and again swallowed hard, bit my tongue and angrily paced all while cursing towards the ATM which would charge not one, but two fees for using it. I was getting quite angry at this point and considered continuing walking figuring that Mary would soon catch on that I was not coming back inside and she would then too exit this shit hole.

But no, I slammed my card hard into the slot of the ATM and entered my PIN on this foreign looking machine and withdrew my money. I walked back to the checkout, still cursing, to hand the cashier the money for all this bulk shit we had purchased. Still audibly cursing, I gave her the money and we closed the transaction. Mary grabbed the cart and we proceeded towards the exit where a gentleman just shy of social security age glanced over our receipt and the items in our cart as our privacy was once again invaded. I continued cursing as we made our way to the parking lot.

I made idle threats towards both Sam's Club and Wal-Mart as we piled all of this unnecessary, foreign-made, overpriced CRAP into my car. I abandoned the cart and as we left I rolled down my window to shout an advisory at anyone within ear shot. "This place is a fucking shit hole!" I then explained that I will NEVER shop here or at Wal-Mart again. Case closed.

I then began to boil inside as not a word escaped my mouth on the drive back to my apartments where we would face the task of finding a place to stuff all this shit we purchased. There went this paycheck's overtime pay.

Why do I even work?

P.S: I know I said I wouldn't post until Monday but this NEEDED to be writtten.

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