Friday, July 16, 2004

The fine line

The time has come where the lines have been drawn. The lines are those between conforming to new rules and being one's self. The rules (newly created I can only assume) were muddily laid out for the (relatively) small number of employees where I work. We are under the rules of someone who has neither the knowhow or the courage to explain these rules. Maybe I am wrong in saying that. Maybe they were explained by our direct supervisor(s) so as to be more easily accepted than if they were handed down from someone higher up the chain of command.

I always swore to myself in my days of High School and College that I wouldn try my best to work in an environment which was laid back and where I could simply be myself. It seems that as time goes on, those abilities are stripped away. Maybe it's my chosen career which is causing these freedoms to vanish. I, for one, dress for my job. I am not seen by customers in our building and wear, most times, jeans or the occasional khaki pants coupled with a variety of polo shirt or t-shirt. The rumblings had been happening for a while as I stated earlier this week. And minutes ago it was laid out.

In the back of my mind whenever something which forces me to come closer to complete conformity, I begin to wander towards searching once again. I like where I am at but I also like to be myself. I am the guy who has half of a closet full of t-shirts and likes his music. I like my t-shirts a tad towards the socially unacceptable side and I like my music loud, raw and pcked with the type of energy which could explode the liver of someone's grandma.

To much of society, I fit in. For the most part I do. But I still retain my individual character. Will I in five years? Five months? Five weeks?
Only time will tell.

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